Tuesday, 31 March 2015

I’m a 62-Year-Old Man and I’m Invisible

Recently I ran across a number of articles about the issue of being a woman over 50 and being invisible in today’s society. What struck me as odd about this was that when I reflected on my own situation, I had to admit that I am, by their definition, invisible. When I walk down the street, people don’t look at me once, never mind twice. I’ve had people offering me senior discounts for years. (Five bucks less at the movies. Woo-hoo!) Being a man, I don’t get catcalled, but heck, I’ve walked around gay sections of the city and couldn’t get picked up if my life depended on it.

I’m not your typically handsome male. George Clooney is getting no competition from me. I’m not young and the heartthrob Ryan Gosling is way out in front. I’m not a ripped hunk like Hugh Jackman √† la Wolverine (sexiest man alive People Magazine 2008) or Chris Hemsworth as Thor (sexiest man alive People Magazine 2014). The only accolade I get is when I go home after work and find out I'm the sexiest man in my apartment. (I live alone.)

There are now over seven billion people on the planet and in the grand scheme of things, I am a mere grain of sand on the beach of life. Am I invisible? Those seven billion people are living their own lives and if they ignore me, I’m sure it’s not malicious. They’re busy.

Salon – Apr 5/2013
Women over 50 are invisible by Tira Harpaz
The first time I felt invisible was on a train to New York City, about nine years ago. As I eased into the end seat of a three-seat row, the 30-something man sitting in the window seat glanced up at me. It was a brief glance, but it conveyed disappointment and complete disinterest. After flinching inwardly, I made a mental list of reasons for his look that didn’t involve me: Maybe he had hoped for a row to himself, or maybe he was waiting for someone he knew to sit down. But as days and years went by, I realized that the look was everywhere. Passersby would simply not see me when I walked down the street. People I met at parties would look slightly disappointed and then look past me, and gradually, I began to shrink inside.

Your Tango - Apr 4/2013
Embracing The 'Invisible Woman': How I Learned To Age & Stay Sexy By Dori Hartley
Recently, a younger woman of 35 expressed this 'invisible woman' idea to me. She said it was already starting to happen to her; that her grand entrances weren't causing the same kind of splash that she had once received — that she wasn't even being catcalled anymore (ironic how we tend to miss things we once loathed).

Not All Women
In looking over the topic, I ran across a few women who responded in turn by declaring themselves anything but invisible.

Daily Plate of Crazy – Mar 24/2015
Are You Feeling Invisible? by D. A. Wolf
I was too busy living, loving, mothering and working to worry about what anyone was thinking except of course those to whom I am closest and those on whom I depended for a paycheck. And to them, I am not now and never will be invisible. Nor irrelevant. Nor without value.

A Sexy Woman of a Certain Age – Mar 10/2015
Older Women Are Supposed To Feel Invisible? I Must Have Missed The Memo. by Erica Jagger
How have I reached the grand old age age of 52 still feeling desirable…in a far more durable and meaningful way than I did in my 20s?

I could look at myself and see a middle-aged, cash-strapped, over-worked, and occasionally overwrought single mom and decide that sticking my head in the oven is my best option. OR I could see a survivor who shed her Stepford Wife shell and now isn’t letting anyone dictate how she should live, who she should date, or what kind of sex she should have.

HuffPost 50 - Mar 30/2015
It's Hard For Men To Believe I Feel Attractive At 50 by Shannon Bradley-Colleary
When I stand before the mirror I see the crow's feet at the corner of my eyes. I see the soft folds that are forming on my neck. I see the roundness in my formerly flat stomach and the various dents and scars from a life actively lived. But what I also see is a woman at the apex of her juiciness.

Final Word
How curious to read about a woman upset at not being catcalled and saying “ironic how we tend to miss things we once loathed”.

Self-confidence is the key. Many people have said this and I realise how true that is. Confident people walk into a room and if nobody looks at them, they get to work making them look. Somebody lacking in self-confidence is worried. We all, both women and men, must strive to define ourselves and accept ourselves. Confidence comes from within; it does not come from others. We must be the best we can be and when we’re good, we’re going to know we’re good. And when we know we’re good, we’re going to be confident. And when we’re confident, we’re going to glow. Other people naturally gravitate to confidence. It’s attractive.

But wait. Am I brimming over with assurance? Do I walk into a strange place and own the room? Do people melt when they see my smile? Hey, I have my moments of self-doubt. I look in the mirror and I don't always like what I see. But, I have to grit my teeth and soldier on. What other choice do I have? I think I can. I think I can.

Am I invisible? Seven billion people and one 62-year-old guy. When I walk down the street, nobody looks at me. But what’s important is that you’re looking at me right now.


References

From a comedian’s stand-up routine (I forget who said this)
I was walking around New York with a gay friend. I noticed after a while that other gay guys would check him out but would ignore me. When I told my friend I felt slighted, he wondered why I was worried because I’m not gay. I told him, “Just because I don’t want to go to the party doesn’t mean I don’t like getting an invitation.”

my blog: An open letter to (older) women about body image - Jan 27/2012
Body image, mental image: I'm not perfect but I'm beautiful anyway. I recently ran across a few articles written by women about the problem (their problem?) of not being the right weight, not being slim enough, maybe not being young enough and certainly not being able to keep up with never mind compete with the air brushed fashion magazine runway models who represent some sort of ideal every female should strive for. As a citizen of the other side of the great sexual divide, I thought to take a moment to add my two cents worth with the hope, accounting for inflation, that $0.02 is not over-evaluating my contribution.

my blog: Body Image: Being comfortable with yourself - Jul 19/2013
We are all the sum total of our experiences. Our personalities are developed by our parents, our families, our environment, and good or possibly tragic events. Ignoring the truly psychotic, how we act, who we are, is representative of what we have experienced in life. As such, when I meet somebody who is mean or cruel, I don't necessarily condemn them as a bad person, I wonder what bad thing has happened to them to leave them that way. In my observations, I found that people who have had a decent childhood and a measure of success in life tend to be happy, generous, and kind. Those who are miserable, mean or unkind have had a bad life event; they have been treated poorly by somebody or something really bad has happened to them.

my blog: Gettin' old, man boobs and Vladimir Putin – Aug 20/2011
We men like to strut our stuff once in a while. Even though we get older and start fading, we still have our moments when we like to relive our former glories, the time when other men would tremble before us and women would swoon. Yes, deep down we know that our glory years are behind us but occasionally we like to suck in our guts and stick out our chests while ignoring the mildly sarcastic "Yes dear, you've still got it". I'm not as good as I once was but I'm as good once as I ever was.

2015-03-31

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Monday, 30 March 2015

Random Stuff - March 30, 2015


A Sexy Woman of a Certain Age - Nov 28/2014
William Quincy Belle Reminisces About His Ten Years In Bed With An Older Woman
Not this woman, but she is wonderful in her own right.



A Good Woman's Dirty Mind - Sep 6/2013
#ChivalryIsSexy: Sex in the World of William Quincy Belle



I'm going to be 63 this year. Somewhere, part of me is still 16-years-old.



Bela Borsodi (b 1966), Austrian photographer; Wikipedia; web sitePinterest






Ha, ha. Ouch, but ha, ha.



2015-03-30

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Friday, 27 March 2015

Saga: The Flyer



Back in ten minutes
And I'll just hang the sign
I've got to find a place
To clear my mind

I'm the flyer
With only one desire
I'm the flyer
Nobody's gonna shoot me down

I've got an urgent appointment
And I can't be late
I've got a million things
That'll have to wait

Just hang on a minute
I'll try to hurry back
I hate to make you wait
But I'm going and I'm going fast

I'm the flyer
With only one desire
I'm the flyer
Nobody's gonna shoot me down

I fly and never look back
(I fly away before they shoot me down)
I fly

Back in ten minutes
And I'll just hang the sign
I've got to find the place
To clear my mind

I'm the flyer
With only one desire
I'm the flyer
Nobody's gonna shoot me down

I fly and never look back
(I fly away before they shoot me down)
I fly
(I'll hang the sign and find the place to clear my mind)

I fly and never look back
(I fly away before they shoot me down)
I fly
(I hate to make you wait)

I'm the flyer
With only one desire
I'm the flyer
Nobody's gonna shoot me down

I'm the flyer
With only one desire
I'm the flyer
Nobody's gonna shoot me down

I'm the flyer
I'm the flyer


References

Published on May 18, 2014 by Largarife2

Side one: "The Flyer" (Jim Crichton, Michael Sadler) – 3:37

Wikipedia: Heads or Tales
Heads Or Tales is the fifth studio album by the Canadian progressive rock band Saga and was originally released in 1983.

Wikipedia: Saga (band)
Saga are a rock quintet, formed in Oakville, Ontario, Canada in 1977.

2015-03-27

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Thursday, 26 March 2015

Deee-Lite: Groove Is In The Heart



Dig

The chills that you spill up my back
Keep me filled with satisfaction when we're done
Satisfaction of what's to come

I couldn't ask for another
No, I couldn't ask for another

Your groove, I do deeply dig
No walls, only the bridge, my supper dish
My succotash wish

I couldn't ask for another
No, I couldn't ask for another

Groove is in the heart, Groove is in the heart
Groove is in the heart, Groove is in the heart

Watch out!

The depth of hula groove
Move us to the nth hoop
We're going through to, Horten hears a who

I couldn't ask for another
No, I couldn't ask for another

DJ Soul was on a roll
I been told he can't be sold
Not vicious or malicious
Just de-lovely and delicious

I couldn't ask for another

Someone's in this torso (yeah)
Hot! Gotta deal you wanna know (wanna know)
Dee-Liteful truly Dee-Liteful (liteful)
Makin' it doin' it 'specially at show (show)
Feeling kinda high like a Hendrix haze (haze)
Music makes motion moves like a maze (maze)
All inside of me (side)
Heart especially (yeah)
Help of the rhythm where I wanna be (c'mon)
Flowin' glowin' with electric eyes (ha)
You dip to the dive baby you'll realize (yeah)
Baby you'll see the funky side of me
Baby you'll see that rhythm is the key (hmm!)
Get get ready with it (with it)
Can't can't quit it (quit it)
Stomp on the street when I hear a funk beat (beat)
Playing Pied Piper
Follow what's true
Baby just sing about the groove (sing it)

Groove is in the heart
Groove is in the heart
Groove is in the heart
Groove is in the heart
Groove is in the heart


References

Published on Nov 17, 2013 by RHINO

Wikipedia: Groove Is In The Heart
"Groove Is in the Heart" is a song by American dance band Deee-Lite. It was released in August 1990 as the lead single from their debut album, World Clique. The song was a hit in many countries, including in Australia where it was a number-one hit.

Music video
The song was accompanied by a psychedelic music video, with Deee-Lite, Q-Tip, Maceo Parker and Bootsy Collins superimposed over a cartoonish 1960s-style background of various shifting shapes and colors. The video opens and closes with quotes by the band: Lady Miss Kier has an opening dialog consisting of "faux-French" originally spoken in the song's AA-side, "What Is Love?", and the ending features Collins saying, "Don't forget, groove is in the heart, and Deee-Lite have definitely been known to smoke... on stage, that is!" and Lady Miss Kier exclaiming "Deee-groovy!"


Wikipedia: World Clique
World Clique is the debut and most successful album by the dance-music band Deee-Lite, which was released in 1990. The album's first single, "Groove Is in the Heart", was a top-five success on both the U.S. Billboard Hot 100 and UK Singles Chart as well as a number-one hit on the U.S. Hot Dance Club Play chart. Three subsequent singles also hit the top ten on the U.S. dance chart, including "Power of Love/Build That Bridge" and "Good Beat", which also hit number one.

Wikipedia: Deee-Lite
Deee-Lite was an American house and club/dance music group, formed in New York City. The group's best-known single was "Groove Is in the Heart", which was released from their 1990 debut album, World Clique, and was a Top 40 hit in multiple countries.

2015-03-26

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Monday, 23 March 2015

Macklemore & Ryan Lewis: Same Love feat. Mary Lambert



[Piano Intro]

[Verse 1: Macklemore]
When I was in the 3rd grade
I thought that I was gay
Cause I could draw, my uncle was
And I kept my room straight
I told my mom, tears rushing down my face
She's like, "Ben you've loved girls since before pre-K"
Trippin', yeah, I guess she had a point, didn't she
A bunch of stereotypes all in my head
I remember doing the math like
"Yeah, I'm good at little league"
A pre-conceived idea of what it all meant
For those who like the same sex had the characteristics
The right-wing conservatives think its a decision
And you can be cured with some treatment and religion
Man-made, rewiring of a predisposition
Playing God
Ahh nah, here we go
America the brave
Still fears what we don't know
And God loves all His children
Is somehow forgotten
But we paraphrase a book written
35 hundred years ago
I don't know

[Hook: Mary Lambert]
And I can't change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
And I can't change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
My love, my love, my love
She keeps me warm [x4]

[Verse 2: Macklemore]
If I was gay
I would think hip-hop hates me
Have you read the YouTube comments lately
"Man that's gay"
Gets dropped on the daily
We've become so numb to what we're sayin'
Our culture founded from oppression
Yeah, we don't have acceptance for 'em
Call each other faggots
Behind the keys of a message board
A word routed in hate
Yet our genre still ignores it
Gay is synonymous with the lesser
It's the same hate that's caused wars from religion
Gender and skin color
Complexion of your pigment
The same fight that lead people to walk-outs and sit-ins
It's human rights for everybody
There is no difference
Live on! And be yourself!
When I was in church
They taught me something else
If you preach hate at the service
Those words aren't anointed
And that Holy Water
That you soak in
Is then poisoned
When everyone else
Is more comfortable
Remaining voiceless
Rather than fighting for humans
That have had their rights stolen
I might not be the same
But that's not important
No freedom 'til we're equal
Damn right I support it
I don't know

[Hook: Mary Lambert]
And I can't change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
And I can't change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
My love, my love, my love
She keeps me warm [x4]

[Verse 3: Macklemore]
We press play
Don't press pause
Progress, march on!
With a veil over our eyes
We turn our back on the cause
'Till the day
That my uncles can be united by law
Kids are walkin' around the hallway
Plagued by pain in their heart
A world so hateful
Someone would rather die
Than be who they are
And a certificate on paper
Isn't gonna solve it all
But it's a damn good place to startXX
No law's gonna change us
We have to change us
Whatever god you believe in
We come from the same one
Strip away the fear
Underneath it's all the same love
About time that we raised up

[Hook: Mary Lambert]
And I can't change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
And I can't change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
My love, my love, my love
She keeps me warm [x4]

[Outro: Mary Lambert]
Love is patient, love is kind
Love is patient (not cryin' on Sundays)
Love is kind (not crying on Sundays) [x5]



References

Published on Oct 2, 2012 by Ryan Lewis

Wikipedia: Same Love
"Same Love" is the fourth single released by Seattle-based hip hop duo Macklemore & Ryan Lewis from their 2012 debut studio album, The Heist. The track, featuring vocals by Mary Lambert, talks about the issue of gay and lesbian rights and was recorded during the campaign for Washington Referendum 74, which, upon approval in 2012, legalized Same-sex marriage in Washington State.

Wikipedia: The Heist (album)
The Heist is the debut studio album by American hip hop duo Macklemore & Ryan Lewis. Independently produced, recorded and released by the duo, the album reached number one on iTunes within hours of being released on October 9, 2012 with no mainstream promotion or support.

Wikipedia: Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
Macklemore & Ryan Lewis are an American hip hop duo formed in 2009, from Seattle, Washington. The duo is composed of Ben Haggerty, a rapper who goes by the name of Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, a record producer, DJ, and professional photographer, who met the former at a photo shoot and they have significantly collaborated ever since. In 2009, they released their first collaborative effort, an EP titled VS. EP. They have since followed up with VS. Redux (2010) and the Grammy Award-winning album The Heist (2012).

Wikipedia: Mary Lambert (singer)
Mary Danielle Lambert (born May 3, 1989) is a Seattle-based singer-songwriter and spoken word artist. She worked with Macklemore and Ryan Lewis on a track on their album The Heist. Lambert is the featured singer and songwriter of their gay rights single, "Same Love". Lambert's contributions to "Same Love" draw upon her experiences as "a lesbian growing up in a tumultuous, Christian upbringing." Lambert took the content she created for "Same Love" and used it to develop the song "She Keeps Me Warm" which she released on July 30, 2013. A music video was released on Vevo on August 24.

my blog: Love Has No Labels - Mar 5/2015
The video "Diversity & Inclusion – Love Has No Labels" by the Ad Council featuring the song Same Love.

2015-03-23

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Sunday, 22 March 2015

Still More Random Stuff: March 22, 2015

On February 14, 2014, I posted "OMG! I'm posting cat videos!!!", in which I stated, "I have now officially run out of things to write about." Now, I'm sure you may say that there are plenty of things to write about: the world is a big place and we collectively have a ton and a half of unresolved issues. Amusingly enough though, since I've been blogging since 2010, coming up to five years in June, there are times when I have copied a previous blog entry about some topic, updated a few time sensitive remarks, and passed it off as a new posting. That is, I've already discussed the issue and what else is there to say? What else other than the issue remains unresolved and the bunch of us continue to not resolve it but continue to write about how it should be resolved. We don't seem to have the collective will to do so. It's almost as if we like to complain but don't want to do anything. Blah, blah, blah.

So, here I am posting random stuff I run across while surfing the Net: quotations, funny stuff, and photographs which are sometimes erotic (gasp). I already know I'm going to hell. Geesh, instead of posting random sh*t, I mean stuff, I think I need something to pique my interest so I'll knock off one of my lengthy essays analysing in minute detail some subject with references and links to online experts and scientific treatises. (Why say in five hundred words what you can say in five thousand? Shaddup, already!)

And now, without further ado, or further I don't, here's more random sh*t, I mean stuff, that's ended up in my Twitter feed.


#marriage #married #divorce #divorced



Suspicion #marriage #married #divorce #divorced #cheating #betrayal






Erotic Wood Carving: Knotty, isn't it?
[face palm] I am so ashamed of myself.





#WomensIssues #WomensIssue #BodyType #BodyTypes #BodyImage #BodyShaming #BodyConfidence #SelfConfidence


#Compersion #Polyamory #Polyamorous #OpenRelationship #OpenMarriage #Honesty #TotalHonesty



Elliott Erwitt (b 1928, France), photographer; Wikipedia; web site; Magnum Photos: partial portfolio



2015-03-22

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Friday, 20 March 2015

C+C Music Factory: Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)



Everybody dance now
Everybody dance now
Everybody dance now
Everybody dance now
Everybody dance now
Everybody dance now

Da da da da
Da da da da
Da da da da

Da da da da
Da da da da
Da da da da
Everybody dance now

Give me the music
Give me the music
Everybody

Here is the dome, back with the bass
The jam is live in effect and I don't waste time
On the mike with a dope rhyme
Jump to the rhythm jump jump to the rhythm jump
And I'm here to combine
Beats and lyrics to make your shake your pants
Take a chance, come on and dance
Guys grab a girl, don't wait, make her twirl

It's your world and I'm just a squirrel
Tryin' to get a nut to move your butt
To the dance floor, so you what's up
Hands in the air, come on say yeah
Everybody over here everybody over there
The crowd is live and I pursue this groove
Party people in the house
Move, move
(Let your mind, put me on line)

Come on let's sweat, baby
Let the music take control
Let the rhythm move you
Sweat, sweat
Let the music take control
Let the rhythm move you
Everybody dance now

Come on let's sweat, baby
Let the music take control
Let the rhythm move you
Sweat, sweat
Let the music take control
Let the rhythm move you

Everybody, everybody
Everybody, everybody
Everybody dance now

Da da da da
Da da da da
Da da da da

Da da da da
Da da da da
Da da dum
Everybody dance now

Da da da da
Da da dum dum
Da da dum dum
Everybody dance now

Pause, take a breath and go for yours
On my command now hit the dance floor
It's gonna make you sweat 'til you bleed
Is that dope enough, indeed
I paid the price, I control the dice
I'm more precise, to the point I'm nice
The music takes control, your heart and soul
Unfold, your body is free and a whole

Dance till you can't, dance
Till you can't dance no more
Get on the floor and get raw
Then come back and upside down
Easy now, let me see ya
Move, move
(Let your mind, put me on line)
The music is my life

Everybody dance now
Everybody dance now
Everybody dance now
Everybody

Come on let's sweat, baby
Let the music take control
Let the rhythm move you
Sweat, sweat
Let the music take control
Let the rhythm move you

Sweat baby
Let the music take control
Let the rhythm move you
Sweat, sweat
Let the music take control
Let the rhythm move you

Sweat baby
Let the music take control
Let the rhythm move you
Sweat, sweat
Let the music take control
Let the rhythm move you

Da da dum dum
Da da dum dum


References

Uploaded on Oct 25, 2009 by CCMusicFactoryVEVO

Wikipedia: Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)
"Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)" is a hit song by American dance group C+C Music Factory. It was released in late 1990 as the lead single from the album, Gonna Make You Sweat. The song charted internationally and achieved great success in U.S., Austria, Germany and Switzerland where it reached number one on the charts.

Music video
The video featured dancers performing in front of a white back drop. Zelma Davis lip-synchs to the recorded vocals of Martha Wash. A short clip of Double Dutch is shown near the end.


Wikipedia: Gonna Make You Sweat
Gonna Make You Sweat is the first studio album by production group C+C Music Factory. The album was released in the US on 13 December 1990.

Wikipedia: C+C Music Factory
C+C Music Factory is an American dance-pop and hip hop group formed in 1989 by David Cole and Robert Clivillés. The band stopped recording in 1996, following Cole's death. In 2010, C+C Music Factory reformed, with Eric Kupper replacing Cole. C+C Music Factory have earned a total of 35 music industry awards worldwide, including five Billboard Awards, five American Music Awards, and two MTV Video Music Awards.

2015-03-20

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Monday, 16 March 2015

More Random Stuff: March 16, 2015


Willow Raven: Illustrator, Cover Artist, Designer @WillowRaven; web site



Departure of the Italian training ship Amerigo Vespucci for Egypt, 1963.



Pinterest: Flex; Pinterest: Workout...and relax all day







Cynthia Sousa aka Theamat, "burgeoning comic book artist and sociologist"
@theamat; DeviantArt



my blog: Open Salon Closes, Idle Thoughts About Blogging - Mar 11/2015
After six years, Salon closes its free and open blogging platform Open Salon. My days of cross-posting are over.



2015-03-16

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