tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-459873339663141424.post1563808336921103060..comments2023-11-30T07:38:47.742-08:00Comments on William Quincy Belle: Divorced: It's over. Or is it?William Quincy Bellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14337095766556949027noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-459873339663141424.post-72326180938202168532012-08-13T15:30:09.389-07:002012-08-13T15:30:09.389-07:00Gee... How did I miss this one? Ah yes, perhaps it...Gee... How did I miss this one? Ah yes, perhaps it's because 12 years after divorce, I'm still working around the clock in a blur to try to dig out? <br /><br />Hmmm. All sarcasm aside, might that have something to do with the wound perpetually reopening? <br /><br />Perhaps for those who remarry quickly it's easier (though statistically their probabilities of a failed second marriage are high). Perhaps it's easier for those who don't share children. Perhaps it's easier if money is never an issue. Plenty of "perhaps" - and no doubt, a considerable amount of individual story & tendency to have reminders triggered. <br /> BigLittleWolfhttp://dailyplateofcrazy.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-459873339663141424.post-14653507416465483682012-06-13T22:10:40.897-07:002012-06-13T22:10:40.897-07:00In response to Pauline: it used to be that cancer ...In response to Pauline: it used to be that cancer was the most important thing about me. Now it's not.<br /><br />I think that Ephron is onto something. When I was in the heat of cancer, fighting actively, it was hard to imagine much outside of cancer. Now, cancer is something that once happened to me, something that changed me, something that taught me a lot...but it's not "me" any more. I think that if it's true of cancer, it MUST be true of divorce.<br /><br />I'm in the middle of mine - one year post decision, but he's moving out in two weeks. I don't know how long it's going to take. I do know it will leave scars, but so did cancer, and they don't define me anymore. I do know that I'm actively working to create a life where divorce doesn't define me, either, but I'm not there ... yet.PollyAnnahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17505808535470419363noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-459873339663141424.post-16165387285287749002012-06-13T16:53:54.014-07:002012-06-13T16:53:54.014-07:00I have an extreme situation, so perhaps an extreme...I have an extreme situation, so perhaps an extreme perspective. I think it is hard to feel truly divorced when you have children. When you have a high-conflict divorce revolving around co-parenting those children, you can feel more tangled up with your ex than when you were married because they consume your thoughts, and, when you have a particularly intrusive ex, your life. I write about my divorce because it's an extension of life issues I had never properly dealt with until the divorce happened. I hope that one day, I will feel the way Nora Ephron does, when she said (something along the lines of): "It used to be divorce was the most important thing about me. Now it's not."Pauline Gaineshttp://www.perilsofdivorcedpauline.comnoreply@blogger.com