Emo Philips: Divorce

It sucks being divorced. I'd much rather be a widower.

Men, make sure your woman never loses the tingle: t-i-n-g-l-e. My wife said she left me because she lost the tingle. And I'm still not exactly sure what a tingle is, but I have learned it's equivalent to one house.

References

Published on Aug 19, 2016 by Just For Laughs

Wikipedia: Emo Philips
Emo Philips (born Phil Soltanek; February 7, 1956) is an American comedian. Much of his stand-up comedy makes the use of paraprosdokians spoken in a wandering falsetto tone of voice. The confused, childlike delivery of his material produces the intended comic timing in a manner invoking the 'wisdom of children' or the idiot savant.

Wikipedia: Paraprosdokian
A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence, phrase, or larger discourse is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists. Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but they also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a form of syllepsis.

Emma Saying - Mar 3/2013
YouTube: pronounce Paraprosdokian

Examples

• "There but for the grace of God—goes God." —Winston Churchill
• "If I could just say a few words… I'd be a better public speaker." —Homer Simpson
• "If I am reading this graph correctly—I'd be very surprised." —Stephen Colbert
• "On his feet he wore…blisters." —Aristotle
• "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it." —Groucho Marx
• "A modest man, who has much to be modest about." —supposedly Winston Churchill, about Clement Attlee
• "I like going to the park and watching the children run around because they don't know I'm using blanks." —Emo Philips
• "I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long." —Mitch Hedberg
• "I sleep eight hours a day and at least ten at night." —Bill Hicks
• "I don't belong to an organized political party. I'm a Democrat." —Will Rogers
• "On the other hand, you have different fingers." —Steven Wright
• "He was at his best when the going was good." —Alistair Cooke on the Duke of Windsor

2016-09-17

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