Monday 27 June 2022

Movie Review: Good Luck to You, Leo Grande

This is a small film, a really small film. When I compare it to the latest top box office, I have to wonder why anybody would bother. When I look at the plot, I realize this is targeting a niche market. However, now that I've seen it, I can attest to a profound story with stellar performances. It has a message for all of us. To paraphrase Henry David Thoreau: [Most people] live lives of quiet desperation.

Nancy, played by Emma Thompson, is retired, recently widowed, and unhappy. She knows she's missed out on something in life and tries to correct this by hiring a male sex worker. She reveals she's never had an orgasm in her life. She describes the perfunctory sex with her husband as penetration in the darkness with him subsequently rolling over and going to sleep. Her husband said oral sex, man on woman or woman on man, was demeaning to him and as a consequence, Nancy has never had a truly intimate moment with a partner.

Leo, played by Daryl McCormack, is something more than a sex worker; he's a therapist. He's kind. He's patient. He remains focused on Nancy, listening to her rants, easing her anxiousness, and going slowly to grant her permission to feel the pleasure she's been denied her whole life. The movie walks the line between the titillation and discomfort of the topic of sex, and the seriousness of the fundamental right of human beings to enjoy their own bodies. Sex is an integral part of the human experience. It can fulfill us and complete us. Nancy confesses that after one of their bouts of sex, she felt powerful.

I come back to a life of quiet desperation. If you don't do it now, when will you do it? How many people go through life unfulfilled and never, literally and figuratively, have an orgasm? Our society frowns upon sex. Prostitution is for the most part illegal. Collectively, we have succeeded in making our lives sometimes uncomfortable and dissatisfying. It's a subplot of the movie that sex work can be a good thing for both the practitioner and the client.

The film is not a love story. In the end, Nancy and Leo go their separate ways, back to their lives, better for their meeting. I give Emma Thompson credit. She's a brave woman. At the end of the film, this 63-year-old actress stands before a mirror stark naked, portraying a woman now aware of herself and her body. She's not a model. She's not perfect. She's just an average person with all the imperfections any of us have in life. But she's an average person who's made the first step in casting off her desperation. It's never too late to change.



Published on May 16/2020 by SearchlightPictures
YouTube: Trailer: Good Luck to You, Leo Grande (1:43)
In GOOD LUCK TO YOU, LEO GRANDE, two-time Academy Award winner Emma Thompson (Love, Actually) embodies the candor and apprehension of retired teacher Nancy Stokes, and newcomer Daryl McCormack (Peaky Blinders) personifies the charisma and compassion of sex worker Leo Grande. As Nancy embarks on a post-marital sexual awakening and Leo draws on his skills and charm, together they find a surprising human connection.

Final Word
Recommended. While some may feel the plot targets an older audience, I feel the message is universal. Go for the brass ring. Don't wait, do it now. Good luck to us all.


References

Wikipedia: Good Luck to You, Leo Grande Good Luck to You, Leo Grande is a 2022 British sex comedy-drama film directed by Sophie Hyde and written by Katy Brand. The film stars Emma Thompson and Daryl McCormack. [The film] had its world premiere at the 2022 Sundance Film Festival on 22 January 2022, and was released on 17 June 2022, theatrically in the United Kingdom by Lionsgate, and digitally in the United States by Searchlight Pictures as a Hulu original film.

Rotten Tomatoes: Good Luck to You, Leo Grande: 95% (as of 2022-06-27)
Sexual awakening stories aren't in short supply, but Good Luck to You, Leo Grande proves you can still tell one with a refreshing -- and very funny -- spin.

Box Office
As of today, June 27, 2022, Box Office Mojo in its world ranking for 2022 shows
  1. Top Gun: $1,006,423,000
  2. Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness: $947,014,432
  3. The Batman: $770,345,583
  4. Jurassic World Dominion: $746,664,000
This film does not appear on this list which shows 200 films in total.

As of today, June 27, 2022, Box Office Mojo in its British ranking for 2022 shows
  1. Top Gun: $70,123,823
  2. The Batman: $51,513,761
  3. Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness: $51,183,196
  4. Sing 2: $44,113,113
Out of a list of 200, this film appears as #74 with a gross of $291,665.

Poynter: New York Times corrects misquote of Thoreau’s ‘quiet desperation’ line
While Henry David Thoreau is often credited with variations of the aphorism “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and die with their song still inside them,” that is not what he wrote in “Walden.” He merely said, “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”

2022-06-27

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Friday 17 June 2022

Fact-checking, shmact-checking: Why are people blindly repeating sh*t?

Recently, I've had a number of my social media posts "liked" by various people. Out of curiosity, I went to see their stuff and discovered a myriad of crazy sh*t from the right end of the political spectrum. And I mean crazy! What the f*ck is the matter with people?

Shortly after the Uvalde school shooting, I saw this meme reposted repeatedly and immediately wondered if this could be in any way true. Within the space of sixty seconds, I found all sorts of legitimate sources debunking this claim. In fact, it turns out the picture is of a trans person who is now complaining they're being targeted by haters when they had nothing to do with the shooting at all.

Partly based on a rumor started by an anonymous user on the /pol/ imageboard on 4chan, Representative Paul Gosar (R-AZ) made unsubstantiated claims, on Twitter the day after the shooting, that the perpetrator was a "transsexual leftist illegal alien"; the tweet was taken down within two hours. The claims were further spread by Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) and other far-right House Republicans and conservative media figures and social media users, despite authorities identifying him as an American citizen. -Wikipedia

Trans woman's photo used to spread baseless online theory about Texas shooter, NBC News, Mar 25/2022
The theory, which began on the forum website 4chan, was spread by right-wing Facebook pages and even Republican Rep. Paul Gosar of Arizona.

I see several important issues in all this.

1. Nobody fact checks
People blindly forward stuff without ever verifying if what they're forwarding is, in fact, right. Why? The answer seems to be confirmation bias.

Confirmation bias is the tendency to search for, interpret, favor, and recall information in a way that confirms or supports one's prior beliefs or values. People display this bias when they select information that supports their views, ignoring contrary information, or when they interpret ambiguous evidence as supporting their existing attitudes. The effect is strongest for desired outcomes, for emotionally charged issues, and for deeply entrenched beliefs. Confirmation bias cannot be eliminated, but it can be managed, for example, by education and training in critical thinking skills. -Wikipedia

Do I look at this purely from a political angle and blame the Right more than the Left? A further reading of the Wikipedia article shows that this issue exists everywhere. Flawed decisions due to confirmation bias have been found in political, organizational, financial, and scientific contexts.

But the confirmation bias on the Right strikes me as quite out of control. Why? Over and over again, journalists have pointed out how the political polarization is no longer a difference of opinion about conservative and democratic ideas, it is now about hate. The Right actually hates the Left. There seems to be some underlying psychological phenomenon here. The Right wants to return to the world of the 1950's Leave It To Beaver. Whites dominated; blacks were segregated, gays were in the closet, and immigrants knew their place and were pretty much unseen. An unskilled white man with no more but even less than a high school diploma could get a factory job, working on the assembly line and making enough to buy a home and support a family of four. That world is long gone with pundits pointing to Republican policies sometimes being at fault for how the world has drastically changed.

What's both amusing and frightening is how things like Fox News are allowed to contribute to reinforcing this mindset. A billion-dollar media empire panders to the worst impulses of Americans in order to get their ratings up to make a profit. They are counting on their viewers to never bother to fact check what they report.

2. Somebody deliberately did this.
They didn't post the picture because they thought it was true, they did it to stir up emotions. But who did it and why? I look at the above sources which point to 4chan, an anonymous chat system. I read analysis by the BBC, Slate, and AP News, and we return to the broader problem of racism and intolerance toward transgender people and immigrants.

“It’s a tactic that serves two purposes: It avoids real conversations about the issue (of gun violence), and it gives people who don’t want to face reality a patsy, it gives them someone to blame.” -disinformation expert Jaime Longoria, director of research at the Disinfo Defense League, a non-profit that works to fight racist misinformation. (AP News)

Racism, sexism, homophobia, xenophobia, some people's anger covers up the real source of the problem.

You can't handle the truth! -A Few Good Men

Now, I know some people like to stir up sh*t just for the sake of stirring up sh*t. Post something outrageous, and then stand back and watch the fireworks. It can be hilarious how incensed people get over sh*t when you know those people don't know sh*t but are just ready, willing, and able to go ballistic over the slightest perceived slight to their way of life.

But is there even something more nefarious going on? Is this part of a deliberate plot by foreign powers to divide the population and weaken the country?

However, whether it's an individual stirring the pot or a foreign power, the real problem is that people listen to this. They seem to eat up conspiracies, dismissing anything mainstream. The problem isn't that somebody says B.S., it's that people listen.

3. People are stupid
Full disclosure: I think people like Rep. Paul Gosar and Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene are stupid. I don't mean I don't like them; I mean they're actually stupid. Over and over again, these people and many in the Republican Party and the Right have displayed a lack of facts. They are ignorant of science, politics, economics, and common knowledge. They seem to be totally prejudiced against anything which is part of the so-called mainstream, including education and any resulting expertise, favoring conspiracy theories which are unproveable and illegitimate. If I ever think of them as crazy, I have to remember that they're elected. Yes, people actually voted them into office. If I ever thought t**** was a problem, I remember that 73 million American voted for him, and I realize the problem in the United States is far greater than I imagined.

Think about this. People believe an anonymous source with no credentials whatsoever over, for example, the respected, Pulitzer-prize winning New York Times. During the pandemic, conspiracy theorists were spouting all sorts of nonsense about Covid. Now, let me get this straight. You want me to believe unsubstantiated claims from anonymous sources as opposed to Dr. Anthony Fauci, a career epidemiologist of forty years who's advised seven presidents. When I want medical advice, I go to my family doctor. I assume you get your medical advice from the wall of a toilet stall in a public washroom. Or social media.

Sheeple
The Right loves to call the Left sheeple, a derogatory term meaning people compared to sheep in being docile, foolish, or easily led. But look at the above. The Right jumped on a tidbit of information which came from an anonymous source. No fact-checking, no on-the-ground interviewing of participants, no legitimate investigation of the story, just the blind forwarding of confirmation bias. The Right blindly follow anonymous sources as opposed to legitimate sources, and I'm the sheeple?

Projection
In psychology, the term projection describes the phenomenon where a person denies negative things in themselves and projects or accuses others of such things. The Right keeps warning of election fraud and yet, they are guilty of such a thing through gerrymandering, voter suppression, and restrictive I.D. laws which disenfranchise minorities, never mind a number of conservatives having been caught double voting in the election of November 2020.

Critical Thinking
I looked at the above meme and immediately doubted its accuracy. Why?

Critical thinking is the analysis of available facts, evidence, observations, and arguments to form a judgement. The subject is complex; several different definitions exist, which generally include the rational, skeptical, and unbiased analysis or evaluation of factual evidence. Critical thinking is self-directed, self-disciplined, self-monitored, and self-corrective thinking. It presupposes assent to rigorous standards of excellence and mindful command of their use. It entails effective communication and problem-solving abilities as well as a commitment to overcome native egocentrism and sociocentrism. -Wikipedia

I make no claims to being a genius or something. However, I look at stuff and question it while I see others, family, friends, acquaintances on social media, blindly accepting sh*t with no questions whatsoever. Isn't it obvious that sh*t is bullsh*t? Isn't it, at least, worth questioning?

Final Word
Full disclosure: I'm a libtard, and I wear that like a badge of honor. Old saying: Liberals like education because it makes you better. Conservatives hate education because it make you liberal.

I want to be perfectly clear: Being a libtard does not mean I give Democrats or anything liberal a free pass. Any politician, any business, any individual must be held accountable. Nobody should be freely allowed to do whatever they want without being responsible to the greater good, responsible to others, and to the country and to the world. For some completely stupid reason, when a conservative hears that somebody is liberal, they think that person immediately votes Democrat without reservations, without a critical eye. I'm liberal but I'm not stupid! Or crazy!

I look at the above, and I can't do it. I can't blindly forward sh*t without finding out if what I'm forwarding is true or not. I don't want to contribute to disinformation. The world is confusing enough already, and it doesn't need me contributing to the bullsh*t being passed around as the so-called "truth".


References

my blog: The problem isn’t so much what people say, it’s that we listen. - Feb 14/2022
I don’t listen to Joe Rogan. I never have listened to him, and I have no intention of doing so. Problem solved. In fact, I don’t listen and never have listened to t****, Fox News, whether it be Sean Hannity, Tucker Carlson, Laura Ingraham, Jeannine Piro, Jesse Waters, et al., or any other source on the Right such as Alex Jones, Ben Shapiro, Candace Owens, formerly Rush Limbaugh, etc. Of course, clips crop up in newscasts, but I never tune into any of these people. Problem solved. It occurs to me that the problem isn’t so much that any of these people are talking, it’s that we’re, I mean, you’re listening. Why are you listening?

Wikipedia: 4chan
4chan is an anonymous English-language imageboard website. Launched by Christopher "moot" Poole in October 2003, the site hosts boards dedicated to a wide variety of topics, from anime and manga to video games, cooking, weapons, television, music, literature, history, fitness, politics, and sports, among others. Registration is not available and users typically post anonymously. As of 2022, 4chan receives more than 22 million unique monthly visitors, of which approximately half are from the United States.

Would somebody explain to me how Paul Gosar and Majorie Greene hold public office? Has the Republican Party sunk this low?

Wikipedia: Paul Gosar
Paul Anthony Gosar (b 1958) is an American far-right politician and former dentist who has served as the U.S. representative for Arizona's 4th congressional district since 2013. A Republican, he was elected in 2010 to represent the neighboring 1st congressional district until redistricting. Gosar's support of conspiracy theories, as well as alleged ties to the Proud Boys, Oath Keepers, and Holocaust deniers have sparked controversy.

Gosar opposes the Affordable Care Act, abortion, gun control, and immigration. He has been a strong ally of former president Donald Trump, and voted to overturn the results of the 2020 U.S. presidential election.

On November 17, 2021, Gosar was censured by the House of Representatives and stripped of committee assignments for posting an edited video clip to social media depicting violence against Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and President Joe Biden. It was the first House censure since 2010 and the 24th in American history.

Personal life
In 2018, six (David, Gaston, Grace, Jennifer, Joan, and Tim) of Gosar's nine siblings participated in ads supporting their brother's political adversary, David Brill, MD. In the ads, they all state their desire to defend their family's name lest the world think the entire Gosar family shares Paul's ideology. David Gosar said, "He's absolutely not working for his district." Tim said, "He's not listening to you and he doesn't have your best interests at heart." Grace said, "Paul Gosar, the congressman, isn't doing anything to help rural America." Jennifer said, "If he actually cared about people in rural Arizona, I bet he'd be fighting for Social Security, for better access to healthcare; I bet he'd be researching what is the most insightful water policy to help the environment of Arizona to sustain itself and be successful."


Wikipedia: Marjorie Taylor Greene
Marjorie Taylor Greene (b 1974), also known by her initials MTG, is an American politician, businesswoman, and far-right conspiracy theorist who has served as the U.S. representative for Georgia's 14th congressional district since 2021. A member of the Republican Party and a strong supporter of former president Donald Trump, she was elected to Congress in 2020 following the retirement of Republican incumbent Tom Graves.

Greene has promoted far-right, white supremacist, and antisemitic conspiracy theories including the white genocide conspiracy theory, QAnon, and Pizzagate, as well as other disproven conspiracy theories such as false flag mass shootings, the Clinton body count, and multiple relating to 9/11. Before running for Congress, she advocated for executing prominent Democratic politicians. As a congresswoman, she equated the Democratic Party with Nazis and compared COVID-19 safety measures to the persecution of Jews during the Holocaust. She apologized for the latter comparison. In January 2022, Greene's personal Twitter account was permanently suspended for posting COVID-19 vaccine misinformation. During the Russo-Ukrainian War, Greene has promoted Russian propaganda and praised Vladimir Putin.

A supporter of Trump's efforts to overturn his loss to Joe Biden in the 2020 presidential election, Greene has repeatedly and falsely claimed that Trump won the election in a landslide victory that was stolen from him. She called for Georgia's election results to be decertified and was among a group of Republican legislators who unsuccessfully challenged votes for Biden during the Electoral College vote count, even though federal agencies and courts overseeing the election found no evidence of electoral fraud. Greene filed articles of impeachment against Biden the day after his inauguration, alleging abuse of power.

The House of Representatives voted to remove Greene from all committee roles on February 4, 2021, in response to her incendiary statements and endorsements of political violence. Eleven Republicans joined the unanimous Democrats in the vote. Greene is running for reelection in 2022.


This is insane. Gosar and Greene are representative of a large segement of the electorate and how out of touch they are with reality.

2022-06-17

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Tuesday 7 June 2022

The S Word

It’s an unwritten rule that white people can’t say the N word. The comedian Chris Rock has some hilarious bits talking about this idea, and the gist of it is that only blacks can use the N word. By extension, only Jews can make fun of Jews; only Indians can make fun of Indians, etc.

I would put forward that the S word (slut) deserves the same treatment. There is a lot of hate in the word, and its casual use can easily be misconstrued as derogatory. We live in a culture that sex shames. Why? I’ve heard it said that this is based on religious upbringing. Religion teaches us that it is through suffering that we can gain access to Heaven, consequently, anything pleasurable, especially sex, must be considered bad. This is where sex-shaming comes from.

Going back to the story of the Garden of Eden, Eve convinced Adam to taste the forbidden fruit and thus, both were cast out of paradise. Eve, and women in general, are to be blamed for the woes of man. Since pleasure is considered verboten, that is, sex is bad; it follows that women are bad, especially about sex. Hence, we have slut-shaming. It’s curious to note that the S word here refers to anything sexual. I’m reminded of an old joke.

Question: What’s the definition of a nymphomaniac?

Answer: Someone who wants sex more than me.

In other words, this is all subjective and varies from person to person.

The other day, I read this in a gentleman’s profile:

I refuse to call you a "bitch", "whore", "slut" or any other bullshit label that heaps social shame on you for needing what absolutely EVERYONE else needs. If you wanna call YOURSELF "slut" then do it because you're PROUD of taking what you need and deserve.

Like the N word, the S word is the privilege of a woman. I, as a man, should never use the term; I don’t have the right to use the term.

Sex is not bad; it’s good. I consider sex to be a gift from God. It’s an integral part of being human, and it’s a wonderful part of being alive. Unfortunately, due probably to religion, we misinterpret sex and end up ashamed, unable to cope with our natural desires and the unnatural ideal of a sexless existence. Note that I said natural desires. We are all sexual creatures. We mustn’t be embarrassed by this; we must embrace it.

An Amusing Contradiction
I’ve seen this in my life. A man wants good sex; he fantasizes about it. He hopes to have a partner who is a good lover. And yet, that same man will contribute to the sex-shaming and the slut-shaming of our society. I have actually heard men refer to women using the S word, inferring that they are somehow less worthy as women. It’s curious in some Christian circles how virginity is prized. The joke for me is that I don’t want a virgin; I want a mature, experienced lover. Inexperience in the bedroom is not fun.

Final Word
We all have the right to our sexuality, regardless of race, color, creed, or gender. Women can be just a sexual as men, and there is nothing inherently wrong with that. It is, however, wrong to disseminate the traditional sex-shaming and slut-shaming which exists in society. The S word is meant to be derogatory but there is nothing derogatory about being sexual. If a woman decides to reclaim her sexuality by using the S word, that is her choice but I, as a man, will not use the word. We all need to make the world a better place, and we should all be free to enjoy our inherent right to be sexual. We’re all in this together.


References

Wikipedia: Slut
Slut is generally a term for a person, especially a woman or girl, who is considered to have loose sexual morals or who is sexually promiscuous. It is usually used as an insult, sexual slur or offensive term of disparagement (slut-shaming). It originally meant "a dirty, slovenly woman", and is rarely used to refer to men, generally requiring clarification by use of the terms male slut or man whore.

The first recorded use of the word was a 1386 reference to a man, in Geoffrey Chaucer's The Canterbury Tales, in which he is referring to the man's untidy appearance.

Slut-shaming is a related term, referring to the act of drawing attention to a person's promiscuous behavior for the purpose of shaming them socially. From the late 20th century, there have been attempts to reclaim the word, exemplified by various SlutWalk parades, and some individuals embrace the title as a source of pride.

Consult the site map and search for the word "slut" for other articles on this topic.

my blog: Slut Shaming Women Who Have Sex - Dec 3/2013

my blog: Sex: I'm a man and you're a... - July 13/2010

my blog: #Slanegirl: sex, (double) standards, and sluts - Aug 22/2013
This story is a perfect example of the problem in our society. A photo of a couple having sex is posted to social media and goes viral. The fallout is that the guy is either treated as a hero or gets off scot-free. The girl, however, is vilified to no end. Why? In our society, it would seem that men can be sexual, they have the right to be sexual, while women must be pure as the driven snow!

2022-06-07

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Monday 6 June 2022

2022: Where I am and where I’m going

A few years back, I wrote "2019: Where I am and where I’m going". Maybe, it's time for an update.

Summary
I'm 69 years old. I turn 70 this coming fall. I've been retired three years this past February. I will be divorced for twelve years this coming September. This past February, I have not had a drink in thirty-four years.

Is this the time in one's life when you get reflective on your life? What are your accomplishments, and, of course, what are your failures? To be honest, there are things I've done in my life that still make me wince. God, how could I have been so dumb? I don't know what other people do, but I sometimes focus more on what I've done wrong than on what I may have done right.

70, Health, and Death
My father died of a heart attack two days shy of his eightieth birthday. How much time do I have left? I have to recognise and accept that someday, this ride will be over. I will have to leave, and the rest of the world will carry on without me.

Is that depressing? Or is it merely realistic? I find it amusing to say to younger people that by the time they reach my age, I'll be dead. I suppose someone may think I'm being morbid, but I really do find that funny.

Although, there are differences between my lifestyle and that of my father. I eat better and exercise more than him. He had a quadruple bypass at the age of 74. Obviously, the makings of cardiac issues were already in place. While I hope my lifestyle will see me live healthier and hopefully longer, there may be parallels. I suffer from erectile dysfunction. Your first thought is about sex, but this condition is also known as the canary in the pants. The blood vessels which feed the penis are some of the smallest in the body and may be susceptible to blockage long before other signs of cardiac problems manifest themselves. Studies have shown a correlation between ED and heart issues. Is my number in the queue?

I'm lucky
In the past three years since my retirement, I've handed out hundreds of dollars (probably between one and two thousand) to various homeless people in the streets. There but for the grace of God go I. I'm sure family, friends, even you, the reader, may find my behaviour odd but I'm reminded that when I hand someone a twenty-dollar bill, it means just about nothing to me. I'm not saying I'm rich but I'm okay enough to see that twenty dollars as being an insignificant amount of money. Giving it away has virtually no impact on my life but I know it represents something important to the homeless person.

Old saying: You can work hard and still fail. Yes, I worked hard. Yes, I made good choices. But I also recognise I had opportunities others may not have had. You could say the homeless deserve what they have but I would counter argue that no one chooses to be poor. With age, I'm finding I'm less critical and more compassionate.

Writing
In 2010, I started this blog. Since then, I've written hundreds of articles and hundreds of thousands of words. For a few years, 2011-2013, I did unpaid work for an online newspaper, writing about everything, politics, science, sociology, sex, divorce, etc. In 2013, I participated in NaNoWriMo. In 2016, I self-published a first novel. Since then, I've published five small collections of short stories and a second novel. I've had my stories published online in a variety of webzines. I'm currently editing a third novel and hope to have it published in the fall of 2022. If anything over the past decade, I've discovered I like to shoot my mouth off. Now, if I could only figure out how to get paid for that.

This Blog
I got bored with writing this blog. I pretty much stopped around 2016 and the break was so dramatic, I went through the site map and added indicators, showing articles as being older than 2016 so people could see what's recent.

Why did I get bored? I was repeating myself. In the past week, interested in a certain controversial topic, I went back to read my own articles from a decade ago. Those articles still stand. Same sh*t, different day. We're all arguing about the same issues, and nothing has been done to rectify the situation. I'm wasting my breath. I could take an old article, change the date, and republish it as an analysis of the issue in question.

In the fall of 2021, I finally got worked up enough over the misinformation being passed around about the pandemic that I did sit down and pen a number of articles analysing various issues relating to Covid. My conclusion is that the average person knows little or nothing about what's going on in the world and does absolutely nothing to educate themselves. People can be f*cking stupid and wear their stupidity as a badge of honour.

Don't get me started on politics. The world has gone completely mad. As I said, I could take all my political articles about the 2012 election and merely change the dates to get them to cover the current situation.

Final Word
I've been asked what I'm doing now that I'm retired. I tell people that I spend my days fiddling without going into specifics about what fiddling entails. Do I even know what it entails?

Twenty years ago, my wife and I would occasionally have dinner with neighbours who were both retired. At the time, my wife and I had career jobs; our lives were busy, like really busy. These two neighbours would talk about having full days and finding it difficult sometimes to find the time to do everything. They were retired. My wife and I would walk home after our visits and wonder between us what these two people were rambling on about. Retired? Not enough time?

Now, I am retired, and many times, my days are full. Full of what? A colleague from my former company, also retired, invited me for lunch a few weeks ago. It was a pleasant couple of hours, talking about the supposed good ol' days. But what was I doing now? I remained vague but did mention having done a little writing and had published a book. "Mom liked it." He laughed.

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?
-Mary Oliver (b 1935), American poet

Nobody knows about my fiddling with writing. Not family, not friends. Nobody knows about this blog; nobody knows about my books. Does it matter? It's a question of amusing myself and whether it leads to anything remains to be seen but also, probably doesn't matter. The point is to amuse myself.

There's an old joke about nobody has written on their tombstone "I wish I had spent more time working." Am I going to have written, "I wish I had spent more time fiddling"?


References

Forbes: 'Canary In The Trousers': Why Erectile Dysfunction Can Signal Heart Disease - Jan 30/2013

my blog: I wrote a book. So what? - Jan 30/2018

my blog: 2019: Where I am and where I’m going - Apr 3/2018

my blog: 2018: Where I am and where I’m going - Jan 30/2018

my blog: 2017: Where I am and where I’m going - Jan 28/2017

2022-06-06

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