Thursday 30 April 2015

Camelot: The Lusty Month of May

my blog: May is National Masturbation Month
An acquaintance pointed out this song from the 1960 musical and it seemed to have a connection to this month dedicated to promoting pleasure as normal and healthy. Enjoy.

Tra la, it's May, the lusty month of May
That lovely month when everyone goes blissfully astray
Tra la, it's here, that shocking time of year
When tons of wicked little thoughts merrily appear

It's May, it's May, that gorgeous holiday
When every maiden prays that her lad will be a cad
It's mad, it's gay, a libelous display
Those dreary vows that everyone takes, everyone breaks
Everyone makes divine mistakes, the lusty month of May

Whence this fragrance wafting through the air?
What sweet feelings does its scent transmute?
Whence this perfume floating everywhere?
Don't you know it's that dear forbidden fruit
Tra la la la la, that dear forbidden fruit, tra la la la la
Tra la la la la, tra la, tra la, tra la la la la la la la la la

It's May, the lusty month of May
That darling month when everyone throws self-control away
It's time to do a wretched thing or two
And try to make each precious day, one you'll always rue

It's May, it's May, the month of yes you may
The time for every frivolous whim, proper or im
It's wild, it's gay, a blot in every way
The birds and bees with all of their vast amorous past
Gaze at the human race aghast

Tra la, it's May, the lusty month of May
That lovely month when everyone goes blissfully astray
Tra la, it's here, that shocking time of year
When tons of wicked little thoughts merrily appear

It's May, it's May, the month of great dismay
When all the world is brimming with fun wholesome or un
It's mad, it's gay, a libelous display
Those dreary vows that everyone takes, everyone breaks
Everyone makes divine mistakes, the lusty month of May


Uploaded on Aug 20, 2007 by StarsEyez

Wikipedia: Camelot (musical)
Camelot is a musical by Alan Jay Lerner (book and lyrics) and Frederick Loewe (music). It is based on the King Arthur legend as adapted from the T. H. White novel The Once and Future King. The original 1960 production, directed by Moss Hart and orchestrated by Robert Russell Bennett and Philip J. Lang, ran on Broadway for 873 performances, winning four Tony Awards and spawning several revivals, foreign productions, and the 1967 film Camelot. The original cast album was America's top-selling LP for 60 weeks. The musical has become associated with the Kennedy Administration, which is sometimes referred to as the Camelot era.

Wikipedia: Camelot (film)
Camelot is a 1967 film adaptation of Camelot by Alan Jay Lerner and Frederick Loewe. Richard Harris stars as King Arthur, Vanessa Redgrave as Guenevere, and Franco Nero as Lancelot.

The Cobra's Web Site - Nov 11/2006
The Lusty Month of May-o by Sharon C. McGovern
The musical Camelot is a cautionary tale about fulfilled wishes. ... [Lancelot catches] the eye of Queen Guenevere. Though fond of her husband, she is drawn to the kingdom's most eligible bachelor. They inevitably become entangled in a legendary illicit romance. ... they virtually compel divine retribution. The impulse to act in defiance of moderation, the law, and sense is celebrated in "The Lusty Month of May." ... But don't be surprised in June when you have to face the music.


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Wednesday 29 April 2015

May is National Masturbation Month

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Tuesday 28 April 2015

Erotic Stuff - April 28, 2015

photographer: unknown; model: Irina Shayk; animation by DarkAngelØne

Paul Maffi, photographer - Transmission Magazine Issue 2 Transparency; web site; Tumblr

Sweet Dreams by Denis Eutikhiev (b. 1971, Russia), Key West, FL (United States)

Miss You by Benoit Courti (b 1975), French photographer; web site


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Monday 27 April 2015

Funny Stuff - April 27, 2015

I wonder what the male equivalent is.

Later on, we find out why men help a woman with her chair.

“Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.”
-Henry David Thoreau, Civil Disobedience and Other Essays
(most men and women)

Twitter: Angry Bombay Girl @shadymumbai
Ha, ha, ha. [stops to think] Hmmm, that may be more true than I think.

I found this reply to the above tweet: @CaptainArnab jokes on you, 20 years from now I won't be able to get it up so my wife will be fucking someone else ... Oh wait .. :)


Urban Dictionary: mimsy (n) the female genitalia
Anybody notice the subtle message? Women are dirty. The female sex organs are not clean. What a burden to put on women and girls.


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Sunday 26 April 2015

Sting: If You Love Somebody Set Them Free

Free, free, set them free
Free, free, set them free
Free, free, set them free
If you need somebody
Call my name
If you want someone
You can do the same
If you want to keep something precious
You got to lock it up and throw away the key
If you want to hold onto your possession
Don't even think about me

If you love somebody
If you love someone
If you love somebody
If you love someone, set them free
Set them free
Set them free
Set them free

If it's a mirror you want
Just look into my eyes
Or a whipping boy
Someone to despise
Or a prisoner in the dark
Tied up in chains you just can't see
Or a beast in a gilded cage
That's all some people ever want to be

If you love somebody
If you love someone
If you love somebody
If you love someone, set them free
Set them free
Set them free
Set them free

You can't control an independent heart
Can't tear the one you love apart
Forever conditioned to believe that we can't live
We can't live here and be happy with less
So many riches
So many souls
With everything we see that we want to possess

If you need somebody
Call my name
If you want someone
You can do the same
If you want to keep something precious
You got to lock it up and throw away the key
You want to hold onto your possession
Don't even think about me

If you love somebody
If you love someone
If you love somebody
If you love someone, set them free
Set them free
Set them free
Set them free
Set them free


Uploaded on Jan 11, 2011 by StingVEVO

Wikipedia: If You Love Somebody Set Them Free
"If You Love Somebody Set Them Free" is the first single released from Sting's solo debut album The Dream of the Blue Turtles. It is also the opening track of the album, and is featured on Fields of Gold: The Best of Sting 1984–1994 as well as The Very Best of Sting & The Police.

Music video
The music video was directed by Godley and Creme in 1985. It was shot in Paris on a soundstage, with each of the musicians performing separately and the footage then overlaid onto the final version.

Wikipedia: The Dream of the Blue Turtles
The Dream of the Blue Turtles is the first solo album by British pop singer-songwriter Sting, released in the United States on 1 June 1985, a year after The Police had unofficially disbanded.

Wikipedia: Sting (musician)
Gordon Matthew Thomas Sumner CBE (born 2 October 1951), known on stage as Sting, is an English musician, singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, activist, actor and philanthropist. He was principal songwriter, lead singer, and bassist for the new wave rock band The Police from 1977 to 1983, before launching a solo career.

With The Police, Sting became one of the world's best-selling music artists. Solo and with The Police, he sold 100 million records. In 2006, Paste ranked him 62nd of the 100 best living songwriters. He was 63rd of VH1's 100 greatest artists of rock, and 80th of Q magazine's 100 greatest musical stars of 20th century.

official web site: Sting


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Thursday 23 April 2015

Circumspect About Circumcision

Published on May 7, 2014 by CollegeHumor
The Real Reason You're Circumcised - Adam Ruins Everything
If You're Not Jewish, and You're Circumcised, You Need to Watch This Video.

Psychology Today - Sep 11/2011
Myths about Circumcision You Likely Believe by Darcia Narvaez Ph.D.
When I was pregnant with my first child, I just thought that circumcision was what you did, no big deal, and that every man was circumcised. Then one day I saw a picture of a baby being circumcised, and everything changed. Just one tiny, grainy photo was enough to make me want to know more, and the more I knew, the worse it got. It turns out, circumcision really is a big deal.

Myth 1: They just cut off a flap of skin.
Myth 2: It doesn't hurt the baby.
Myth 3: My doctor uses anesthesia.
Myth 4: Even if it is painful, the baby won't remember it.
Myth 5: My baby slept right through it.
Myth 6: It doesn't cause the baby long-term harm.

Psychology Today - Sep 13/2011
More Circumcision Myths You May Believe: Hygiene and STDs by Darcia Narvaez Ph.D.
There's a lot of hype about how circumcision is better for a man's health. But is it really? Here is Part 2 of our series on myths about circumcision.

Myth: You have to get the baby circumcised because it is really hard to keep a baby's penis clean.
Myth: Little boys won't clean under their foreskins and will get infections.
Myth: Uncircumcised penises get smelly smegma.
Myth: "My uncle wasn't circumcised and he kept getting infections and had to be circumcised as an adult."
Myth: My son was diagnosed with phimosis and so had to be circumcised.
Myth: Uncircumcised boys get more urinary tract infections (UTIs.)
Myth: Circumcision prevents HIV/AIDS.
Myth: Circumcision is worth it because it can save lives.

HuffPost Science - Apr 9/2015
Time for U.S. Parents to Reconsider the Acceptability of Infant Male Circumcision by Morten Frisch, M.D.
Do the benefits of male circumcision outweigh the risks? The U.S. Centers for Disease Control -- echoing the 2012 policy statement of the American Academy of Pediatrics -- have recently suggested that they do. What many Americans are not aware of, however, is the fact that the United States is not just unusual, but actually unique among developed nations in finding such widespread medical support for infant male circumcision.

Wikipedia: Circumcision: Adverse Effects: Sexual Effects
Circumcision does not appear to decrease the sensitivity of the penis, harm sexual function or reduce sexual satisfaction. A 2013 systematic review and meta-analysis found that circumcision did not appear to adversely affect sexual desire, pain with intercourse, premature ejaculation, time to ejaculation, erectile dysfunction or difficulties with orgasm. Another 2013 systematic review found that the highest-quality studies reported no adverse effects of circumcision on sexual function, sensitivity, sensation or satisfaction. A 2014 literature review found that there are significant gaps in the current literature on male and female sexual health that need to be addressed for the literature to be applicable to North American populations. A 2010 Royal Australasian College of Physicians viewpoint mentions that the effects of circumcision on sexual sensation are not clear. Royal Dutch Medical Association's 2010 viewpoint mentions that "complications in the area of sexuality" have been reported.

Wikipedia: Prevalence of circumcision
The World Health Organization (WHO) has estimated that globally one-third of males aged 15 years and over are circumcised, with almost 70% of those being Muslims.

Australia, Canada, Ireland, New Zealand and the United Kingdom are examples of countries that have seen a decline in male circumcision in recent decades.

Mad Science Writer - May 8/2013
The foreskin: Why is it such a secret in North America? by Spoony Quine
I had heard of circumcision as a Jewish religious practice, but thought myself unlikely to ever see its results. Little did I know, all the male genitalia I had seen both in real life and as depicted in American anatomy books, had been edited in exactly the same way. Why would anyone selectively remove foreskins, not just from real people but from scientific anatomical texts, which I had thought were meant to represent the natural human form?

My Personal Note
I'm circumcised. Why did my parents do this? We're Protestant, so it wasn't religious. In the above reading, it would seem this is a tradition started in North America during the 1800's and continues today without any thought as to the benefits or the risks. We do what our parents did and never question it. Isn't it about time we take a better look at our traditions? They may not be the best course of action. (slavery, segregation, racism, sexism, ageism, homophobia, elitism, fear of vaccinations, anti-abortion, abstinence-only sex education, no sex education, health care for profit, etc.)


Wikipedia: CollegeHumor
CollegeHumor is a comedy website owned by IAC and based in New York City. The site features daily original comedy videos and articles created by its in-house writing and production team, in addition to user-submitted videos, pictures, articles and links. In early 2009, CollegeHumor's editorial staff wrote and starred in their own TV show, The CollegeHumor Show, on MTV. CollegeHumor is operated by CHMedia, a New York company that also owns Defunker, Sports Pickle, and Jest (formerly Today's Big Thing (also owned by IAC))

YouTube channel: CollegeHumor

CollegeHumor - Aug 13/2014
Adam Ruins Everything
The entire "Adam Conover Ruins Everything" series up to this point.


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Wednesday 22 April 2015

Oral Sex: The Gold Standard of Sexual Intimacy

Update 2020-03-08 The xoJane article linked below has disappeared as the online magazine has been bought out and has now disappeared. (Wikipedia: xoJane) Fortunately, I found a copy of the article in the Wayback Machine, linked below.

From time to time, I run across articles which make me cogitate. Some even make me ruminate. In this case, I was prompted to push back in my seat, look toward the ceiling with furrowed brow, and mull over the state of world affairs concerning a very private matter. I decided to jot down a few thoughts to share with the rest of the world. As I’ve said elsewhere, I like to add my two cents worth with the hope, accounting for inflation, that $0.02 is not over-evaluating my contribution.

Due to the graphic nature of the following material, this blog posting has been rated PG-18: those under the age of 18 must be accompanied by a pervert.

Right off the bat, let me clarify my position. I think putting your mouth on another person’s genitals to be the most intimate and sensual act one human being can perform on another. Being a man, let me wax poetic. I make the woman the erotic goddess, my erotic goddess. I kneel and worship at the altar of her intimacy. The yoni is the centre of my universe. I don’t just pleasure my partner; I experience her pleasure. I achieve a connection both sexual and spiritual.

Poetic? Move over E. L. James as I put perverted pen to paper to produce my own profane prose.

Now that I’ve gone all mystical on you, let me translate that into something a little more down to Earth so the rest of you who are not tantric Zen Buddhist meditating Kama Sutra shamans can understand. Ahem, here goes.

Eatin’ pussy is goddamn hot.

There, I said it. Without delving into the Freudian aspects of my oral obsession (my mother dropped me on my head when I was 8 months old), I have remained fascinated by this form of lovemaking my entire sexual career, 47 years now from losing my virginity at age fifteen. From my reading, I am not alone. There are other men who feel the same way. The woman is the center of life, a vortex of sexual energy.

But I like to stand back and look at the big picture. I may not have access to all the scientific data – heck, there may not be anything relevant – however, in reading articles about the subject, looking at blog postings, and random comments to the same, I wonder what’s going on in the world. Being a peace, love, and understanding type of guy, I note, in many cases, we are lacking peace, love, and understanding.

What prompted me to write this: article #1

xojane – Aug 28/2012
"Why I Like Facials (The Dirty Kind)" by Emily
How do I put this delicately? I like having my face cum on. Yep, 90 percent of my sexual encounters end with a big face-full of splooge. (See, delicate!) No, I don't feel degraded by it, nor do I think my male partners' enjoyment of said act means they hate women. I mean, if they did, there are faster ways to oppress us than one shot in the face at a time.

Despite your initial reaction to Emily’s penchant for a sex act generally considered to be degrading to women, you will find Emily to be an astute observer of life and a feminist. She quotes artist Marilyn Minter: "There are no politically correct fantasies." and points out some women have rape fantasies.

my blog: Sex fantasies make for better sex lives - Jun 2/2011
Studies show that no woman fantasizes about being raped per se. No woman wants this in reality. In the fantasy, a woman feels perfectly safe and does not fear for her life. The typical female erotic rape fantasy involves imagining a sexually attractive man whose sexual passion is irresistibly stimulated by the woman's sexual attractiveness. In the fantasy, the man uses just enough force to overcome her token resistance and to arouse her sexually.

Emily brings up the idea of feeling safe.

Why I like facials is less important than the fact that I already do.

And one of the things I love about sex -- done well, with someone you trust, it's a boundaryless Never Never Land where cool, smart, and careful melt into sheer sensation. I don't care if your fantasies revolve around fisting or sibling role play -- exploring them together, crawling into each other's weirdo sexual psyches, is half the fun. My orgasms are a politics-free zone.

“With someone you trust.” With someone you trust, all is possible and all is permissible.

As for degrading, Emily writes:

In my case, there's nothing degrading about receiving a desired sex act I've asked for as a consenting adult. Sex acts are degrading when they make you feel degraded -- and nobody gets to decide that but you, not even feminism.

Emily points out what is essentially something we should all recognise and embrace.

What prompted me to write this: article #2

In Bed With Married Women – Dec 11/2012
The Blow Job as Path to the Divine by Jill Hamilton
Ms. Hamilton talks about experiencing the Divine, “the sublime feeling of connection with the universe” one gets listening to music, or walking in nature, and of course, with good sex. She quotes from the article "The Platonic Ideal" by Samantha Gillison when Ms. Gillison has a revelation about the act of fellatio. Apparently, Gillison had thought of blow jobs as something you gave, like a gift, or something you did as a favor. Plus there was some fear and uncertainty. After a rock concert, and in the darkness of the parking lot, she knelt before her date.

But starting that night in the parking lot, I began to understand the profound, dirty pleasure of giving blow jobs. It isn’t just that I discovered how much I like being in control, how much I like giving the kind of pleasure that makes someone helpless, and how intoxicating it is to be on the receiving end of hurricane-levels of desire. But, that night, it was also the revelation of the particular male smell you get up close with a cock and balls that turned me on in ways that are almost beyond description. It was like being inside sex.

Plato said that human beings can only truly access the divine through sexual ecstasy, Eros. This has always made so much sense to me. When else are humans as rapt by feeling as when they come and when they touch God? That feeling of connection to the universal, the feeling of having exited my own body as I orgasm is nothing other than touching the infinite.

Yet I have never been able to get close to that Platonic, out-of-my-mind kind of sexual ecstasy unless I can satisfy a primal hunger: Whether in fantasy or reality, I need a connection to another equally raunchy human being. It has always been the case with me, since I was a teenager, that I have to see someone else’s horniness in order to feel horny. What I happily realized on my knees in the parking lot is that an erect cock in my face is among the most blatant ways of experiencing the realness of someone else’s desire I’d ever encountered. And every time, it spurs a response in me, hot and dark and if I’m doing something transgressive in the best possible way.

It’s at this point, I fell off my chair. Excuse me while I dust myself off.

Jill Hamilton: “Here's Gillison on the experience of blowing a long time friend and feeling, then overcoming, the awkwardness inherent in that particular situation.”

But then a supple communication started between me and his penis as I began to suck, a communication beyond words and much deeper than any we had ever had before.

His cock felt so sexy in my mouth, hard and hot and aching with desire. But I could also feel how much of this man was being revealed to me: his sexuality, his vulnerability, his musky smell.

Soon the connection started to feel like a merging, as though I was experiencing that blow job too. It felt crazy, off-the-charts raunchy, to fantasize that I was not only giving head but getting it. All of a sudden I was overwhelmed by pure animal pleasure. I was so turned on that I came.

Since that night’s discovery I always revel in the double fantasy of giving and receiving. And I honor the wisdom of the old Greek philosophers who pointed out that although the Divine is inscrutable, it is easy to find while sucking on a dick.

I apologise to Ms. Hamilton for quoting so much from her article, but this was just way too incredible to overlook.

My Confession
I don’t normally tell all sorts of details about my sex life because, well, I’m a shy sort of guy. I like to repeat a comedian I once heard, “Sleep with me and I’ll show you four inches of pure steel.”

However, I have a point to make and I’m afraid I can’t really get around it. So, here goes.

I don’t know the exact number, so I’m going to have to estimate. Let’s take forty years with sex once a week: 40 x 52 = 2,080. It may be more or less than that, I don’t know (there have been periods when I lived alone, without a partner), but it will serve to illustrate my point.

I, like a lot of people or maybe all people, have a standard sexual script. I perform cunnilingus on my partner then have penetrative sex. In other words, I have always put my partner’s pleasure first and I have never relied on penetrative sex to give my partner an orgasm. As an aside, let me explain myself.

First, men are noted to fall asleep after orgasm. I am no different. (Live Science - Feb 1/2013: Why Do Guys Get Sleepy After Sex? by Melinda Wenner) I can be totally wiped out, so by putting my partner first, I maintain my state of arousal. Secondly, penetrative sex is a wonderful way to achieve my own pleasure. I would add, that certain positions coupled with supplemental caressing, have created second orgasms for my partners. Not all the time, but enough to make note of.

Jill Hamilton of “In Bed With Married Women” points out that the ladies do enjoy a good “fuck pounding” from time to time even if “it doesn’t get me there”.

My point is this. I have performed cunnilingus two thousand times. In comparison, I’d say I have received twenty acts of fellatio. You heard that correct. Two thousand versus twenty.


Before I get into dissecting this statistic, another explanation about my sexual tastes. (Oh geez, how much sh*t do I have to tell you guys to make my point? Crap! The next thing you know, I’ll be discussing that mole on my inner left thigh.)

I don’t care if I get a blowjob. There, I said it. I have no secret desire to ejaculate in a woman’s mouth, penetrative sex is great. Of course, there’s been some fluffing over the years, but that falls into the category of foreplay, the lead-in to the grand finale. Now don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the attention as much as the next guy, but I discovered early on that it is better to give than to receive. An orgasm is great, but giving pleasure can be truly gratifying.

Okay, so what the heck is this great point I’m trying to make?

my blog: Sex: Are women lousy lovers? – Sep 12/2013
According to a 2002 study from the Centers for Disease Control 90 percent of men and 88 percent of women have had oral sex with an opposite-sex partner. But that is in their lifetime. The Kinsey Institute qualifies that by quoting a 1994 study: 27% of men and 19% of women have had oral sex in the past year.

Why more people are not having oral sex
In the second article above, I identify with the author in that there is something sublime about performing oral sex. That’s a good thing. But the studies indicate not that many people are engaged in this type of activity. They are missing out on a wonderful way to connect with their partners.

About Men
I was born in 1952. My formative teenage years occurred in the late 1960s to 1972. I grew up in the same environment as a lot of guys and I’m a little different. But how did all those guys turn out? Not all, but some.

my blog: Sex: What men want. Okay, what I want. – Jul 22/2012

Question: What's the difference between a woman and a walrus?

Answer: One has a moustache and smells like fish, the other lives in the sea.

This is an example of the appalling humour you can hear in the guys’ locker room or around the water cooler. Why would anybody expect a guy to go down on a girl when he’s got this bullsh*t floating around in his head? Add to that the marketing campaigns of the 1970s pushing feminine hygiene deodorants and there’s a whole generation of men and women who think a woman’s genitals stink. It’s at this point I counter with some literary flight of poetic fancy about the pheromone-laced fragrance of the goddess. Geez, I’m getting a hard.... [clasps both hands over his mouth, looks alarmed] Oh crap, did I just say that out loud? Backspace, backspace, backspace, backspace.

But while everybody is deriding males as idiots, consider the following.

my blog: Boys Will Be Boys (or However We Make Them) - Jan 9/2014
In 2014, documentary film maker Jennifer Siebel Newsom is going to release the film "The Mask You Live In" which asks the question "As a society, how are we failing our boys?" She makes the following points.

Compared to a girl the same age, a boy in late adolescence is 7 times more likely to die by his own hand.

Boys under 17 drink more heavily than any other population group.

Boy in the U.S. are 30% more likely than girls to flunk or drop-out of school.

Are boys or men inherently bad?

As reported by the University of Southern California, a study of children raised by gay parents showed differences in their behaviour from those raised by heterosexual parents. For example, boys raised by lesbians appear to be less aggressive and more nurturing than boys raised in heterosexual families. While the aggressiveness of males may be attributed in part to the genes of the species, is aggressiveness also a learned behaviour? A study showing that lesbian parents have less aggressive boys would seem to point out that if Junior's a tough guy, he may have gotten that way from imitating dear old Dad.

The old adage is this:

Society teaches women to suppress their sexuality and men to suppress their sensuality.

my blog: Sex: Are men lousy lovers? - Aug 19/2013
I have read a great deal about dissatisfaction in relationships, romantic, marital, and sexual. The rate of divorce stands at 40% or 50% depending on the source of information. Two-thirds of divorces are initiated by women and the number one reason for divorce is spousal neglect. Yes, neglect. Why? What's going on? Yes, it takes two to tango and I'm sure it would be difficult to untangle just who's responsible for what but I have to ask if men are lousy lovers.

About Women
Where do I begin? There’s so much to say, it’s hard to know where to start.

Our society is, first of all, ashamed of sex. We abhor it; we scoff at it; and we do everything in our powers to hide it. It’s a wonder all those sex-ignorant people figure out how to have babies. Tab A goes into slot B.

my blog: Sheila Kelley: Let's Get Naked: TED Talk - Dec 24/2012
In the following talk at TED, Sheila Kelley shows the Yin Yang symbol and describes how each of us, male and female, have the potential for both Yin feminine and Yang masculine. But in what she calls "The Yin Effect", we live in a world which cuts out a piece of the Yin feminine from women that part which deals with their sexuality. How? Ms. Kelley talks of the negativity towards female sexuality and goes on to recount a personal and poignant story of when she was 7 years old. She and two neighbour boys, on a hot summer day, all took of their tops and laid down in the cool grass. The mother of the boys yelled out the window to the 7 year old Ms. Kelley to put her top back on, that she was a naughty girl and that she should be ashamed of herself. Mom then sent the 7 year old girl home. And so it starts the suppression of female sexuality.

my blog: Why Do We Repress Our Sexuality? - Aug 14/2013
Alyssa Royse (The Danger in Demonizing Male Sexuality) addresses the issue of viewing male sexuality in a negative light by saying, "We have a tendency to demonize male sexuality." She goes on to explain how she and her daughter attended a sex ed class where the female presenter talked about how girls must learn how to say "no" to boys.

"It starts that young. Yes, girls are told that boys are predatory and somehow out of control. The corollary there is that boys are told they are predators, and out of control. Therefore, not a desirable thing, but a thing to defend against. From the get-go, we are teaching our kids to fear male sexuality, and to repress female sexuality."

HuffPost Parents - Jun 18/2013
3 Things Little Girls Need from Their Fathers by Joyce McFadden
When you reveal your discomfort with your daughter's sexuality, you're unintentionally teaching her it's either something to be afraid of or something to be disdained.

I’m sorry I misplaced the link to this story, so I’ll explain. Back in 2013, during #AdultSexEdMonth, I ran across a blog entry by a 20 something woman in which she explained why she didn’t like performing fellatio. She grew up in an environment where the word cocksucker was used in a negative light. As a consequence, she developed a distaste for the whole idea. She would do it, but only for an intimate partner and then only as a return favour.

What struck me as so interesting about this, is that I, too, grew up in such an environment. All boys used homosexual related expressions to tease and disparage one another. “You’re a cocksucker.” “Why don’t you suck my dick? “(Odd, I know.) The point is that whether you were male or female, the peer group used such terminology in a negative light. Fellatio was bad and anybody performing fellatio was bad.

my blog: Sex: Are women lousy lovers? – Sep 12/2013
There's no such thing as a bad blowjob. It's like pizza... even when it's bad, it's still good. We all laugh at clichés because they're, well, clichés. But I am going to put forward the idea that a cliché represents a grain of truth from some personal or historical perspective. The joke (or the truth) in the above cliché has two parts. First, women do not like to perform oral sex on men. If they do it, they do so reluctantly. Because they do it reluctantly, they have never bothered to educate themselves in the fine art of fellatio and do it without much knowledge or expertise. The second part of the joke is that men love getting oral sex. In fact, men are so desperate to get it; they will take anything they get. So yes, even if it's bad, it's better than nothing.

More Personal Confessions
Thirty years ago, a lover of a few years performed a mutually agreed upon act of fellatio. After coming down from my sexual high, I discovered she had spit my ejaculate out on my stomach. I’ve never required anybody to swallow, but couldn’t she wait ten seconds to find a Kleenex? Do I taste that bad? Am I that gross? Am I that disgusting?

Many moons ago, a woman told me flat out she would never swallow because she thought men tasted terrible. Hmmm, I guess I do taste that bad.

An aside: a funny story.
A woman announced she wanted to give me a handjob. She then proceeded so vigorously, I thought she was going to yank my penis clean off. Now ladies, we guys may sometimes say that we are as hard as steel, but that is only in the figurative sense. A penis is not actually made out of steel; it is a delicate instrument of love. Please handle with care. Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate.

By the way, just to be clear about this, I have never required a partner to do anything I wouldn’t do myself. Seems fair, yes? (I’m strictly heterosexual, so I am always talking about a woman)

I have tasted my own ejaculate. Yes, I have eaten my own cum. I’m not homosexual, but I do think one should know one’s own body. And I can’t very well ask a woman to perform oral sex on me without knowing a bit about what the experience would be like for her. Seems fair, yes?

Now, I’m not saying I’m going to be buying either one of the following two books any time soon:

Amazon: Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes Paperback – Nov 1 2008 by Paul "Fotie" Photenhauer

Amazon: Semenology - The Semen Bartender's Handbook Paperback – Mar 1 2013 by Paul Fotie Photenhauer

But if you’re a lady and want to enumerate the many varied reasons why you won’t partake of my manseed, I am fully conversant in the subject and will be happy to discuss your objections point by point. I will also point out how bizarre it is to run over such ideas outside the context of a state of arousal. Yes, you now perceive my personal penchant for pudendum, but I have no plans of whipping up a milkshake consisting of vaginal secretions. (“Ew,” I hear you say. ... Hmmm, that sounds kind of kinky. Where’s my blender?) (Jezebel – Feb 10/2015: A Brief Chat With a Woman Who Made Yogurt From Her Vaginal Secretions by MarkShrayber)

My Point
Finally, I get to my point.

Guys, you are missing out on something fabulous. Kneel and start worshipping. Your woman will love you for it.

Ladies, well, my stats sum it up. 2,000 acts of cunnilingus versus 20 acts of fellatio. If you do not outright fear my sexuality, you are disinterested. Or you are reluctant. And you are sometimes grossed out about it. I just have one question.

Who’s going to worship me? Who’s going to worship the erotic god?

Yes, I’m a guy and I want to be wanted. I want to be desired. I want to send you into a tailspin of unbridled lust which can only be quenched by my manliness. [pregnant pause] All right, quit smirking and rolling your eyes.

my blog: Sex: What men want. Okay, what I want. - Jul 22/2012
Touch me as a man. Give me the sense that we are connected. Give me the sense not only that you are available, but that you want me. I'm not asking for sex twenty-four by seven, I am asking for the possibility. I'm not stupid. I am mature and yes, I can delay gratification. I am cognizant of children, family events, financial matters, job problems, health issues, headaches, and yes, the latest episode of Desperate Housewives airing in 10 minutes.

Touch me? A quick kiss as either you or I fly out the door. Holding hands on a walk. Snuggling on the couch watching TV. Giving a suggestive caress on the buttocks cleaning up in the kitchen pre or post meal. Or even brazenly grabbing me in the crotch behind our guests back while whispering in my ear, "How's my stud muffin?" Silly? Stupid? Or suggestive? Sensual?

Possibility. Touch my sensibilities. Touch my imagination. I guess, in the end, that is touch my mind with the idea of promise. Oh yes, one more "P" word: passion.

We want to be appreciated by our boss. We want to be admired by our colleagues. We want to be loved by our family. And we want to be desired. There is something special, primordial in being sexually desired by another human being. Yes, we want a partner who loves us, but we also want a partner who desires us.

Elephant Journal – Dec 14/2014
Make Him Roar: 10 things that Turn Men On. by Alex Sandra Myles
"When a man’s needs are met, they are automatically inspired to try harder, become better partners and aim for higher levels of success, not only within their intimate relationships, but in all other areas of life too."

I'll take a bullet for you.

Sexy+Positive Blog – Jan 18/2015
Survey Says Sexlessness Sucks by Marie Franklin
Society doesn't really prepare us for this -- we are so often told that men want sex, and that we just have to show up and be pretty.

my blog: Veronica Monet: Sex Secrets of Escorts: What Men Really Want - Jan 8/2014
Vernocia Monet is a former escort. Why would a man pay $2,500 per hour for her time? What could this woman possibly do to warrant such a sum of money? Is the man stark raving mad or does Ms. Monet know something about men that women in general are totally ignorant of? If you're a woman reading this, would you have the slightest idea of what to do that would be worth $2,500 to a man? Ms. Monet: “I learned that when you take his clothes off and provide him with one of the most emotionally moving orgasms of his life, a man will show you that he is not all that different from most women. Men, too, want to be held while they cum and will cry during an internal (prostate) orgasm. There is softness and a desire to be nurtured which I never saw in men until I became a prostitute. I literally went from hating men and the oppression they represented to me at that time, to loving men and feeling regret that we live in a world culture which demands that men sublimate their feminine side in preference of appearing in control.”

Before blogging, I never fully understood this concept. I, and probably the average person in the street, looked at life as either so-called normal or people tied up and getting whipped. It was either black or white. I have since discovered there are (Dare I say it?) shades of grey.

Ballroom dancing, of all things, opened my eyes to a conceptual framework of interactions between men and women. Instead of dominant / submissive, there is a different shade: assertive / receptive. The man asserts himself – he extends his hand as an offer to dance – and the woman is receptive – she accepts (or refuses). Then, the two of them fill their respective roles to achieve a synergy – the whole is greater than the sum of the parts – a dancing couple and all the coordinated grace that entails.

In sexual matters, I, the man, have always been assertive, and maybe at times dominant. I lead my partner in a dance as old as time itself. But my preferred dance has been to always put my partner in the spotlight, her pleasure comes first.

I don’t perform oral sex because the woman is going to cook me dinner. I don’t do it because the woman is going to sew a button on my shirt. And I certainly don’t do it because I think I’m going to get oral sex myself. I do it because I like doing it. The act itself is its own reward.

That is the point I’m trying to make. The above two articles show two women enjoying the act itself. The act isn’t a return favour; it isn’t some sort obligation; and it isn’t a sort of barter for something else. The women are just enjoying the act.

How often have I seen that in my lifetime? I certainly recognise that the number of times a partner has pushed me back on the bed and said, "Don’t move. I’m going to do you." has been very rare. Of course, I’ve dominated the proceedings so one could argue that I’ve set the scene. Have I failed to give my partners the opportunity to push me back on the bed? Have I failed to make my partners sufficiently at ease to want to push me back on the bed? Or were my partners merely following the model of behaviour dictated by society, our culture, and their up-bringing? Heck, maybe I didn’t inspire my partners: not good-looking enough, not sexy enough, and what could anybody do with a laughable four inches of pure steel? (See? I have my own moments of self-doubt.)

Ready, Willing, And Able
Men are ready, willing, and able twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. A woman doesn’t have to seduce a man insomuch as she merely has to give him permission to do what he already wants to do. No warm-up, no getting him in the mood is necessary. The word Yes is sufficient.

As a man, I have had it pounded into my head from day one that it is my responsibility to get the woman in the mood. And isn’t it obvious why? I come to the table horny. I’m in the mood. The woman, on the other hand, is preoccupied by a myriad of other things: cooking dinner, taking care of children, doing the laundry, etc., ad infinitum. She’s not thinking about sex. Heck, sex is the farthest thing from her mind. But that doesn’t mean with a little persuasion, she might not find the idea enjoyable. After all, I’ve come home from work tired and wanting to put my feet up only to remember I’ve been invited out by friends for dinner. Grumble, grumble, grumble, but I end up going and having a great time. Okay, not all the time, but if I myself drum up a little enthusiasm, things usually turn out far better than I thought at the time.

my blog: Sex: Are women lousy lovers? – Sep 12/2013
If a woman walked into a bar, I have no doubt that she could walk out with guy in no time flat. Is she a femme fatale? Does she have her PhD in seduction? If you attached a bobby pin to a string, baited it with a piece of hotdog, then dipped it in a tank of piranha, I would be shocked if you didn't hook something in under ten seconds. (piranha = no skill necessary)

Husband, boyfriend, oh heck a guy comes home after a long day. He's tired. He's hungry. He's angry at his boss and he's frustrated with his work. Sex? He's already been screwed over once today and that is the farthest thing from his mind. Can a woman get him into the sack? I give you a casting rod with a bunch of lures and plop you down in the middle of a mountain stream. Now how long do you need to fly cast to catch a fish if you can catch a fish at all? (fly casting = skill)

How prevalent is this idea that men want sex all the time?

Final Word
The collective we isn’t having as much fun as it could. Some of my take-aways.

We live in a sex negative culture with a great deal of misinformation floating around.

Society teaches women to suppress their sexuality and men to suppress their sensuality.

Some men are missing out on a beautiful, sensual way of connecting with their partners.

Some women sometimes fear male sexuality. Some women sometimes are disinterested by male sexuality if not reluctant about it. Some even find it gross. Some. Not all. Not you, not her, and not the brunette sitting third row from the back, second seat in. She’s a wonderful lover and any man would be lucky to have her as a partner. But some.

Originally, I was prompted to write after reading two articles about women who enjoyed performing oral sex on men. Unicorns do exist. There are many explanations about the current state of affairs, social, cultural, and religious, but let us hope that with some frank discussions and new information, we collectively can make a step toward a better world. Let’s have a little more peace, love, and understanding.


my blog: Sex: Facials are stupid - May 5/2011I picture you sitting there reading away, "Sex: Facials..." [you doing a spit take] "He's talking about what!?!" My last column got me thinking about some authors I had read recently, and I thought I would share these wonderful insights from the fairer sex: Cindy Gallop and Betty Dodson.

Pretty Woman (1990): Quotes

Edward Lewis: So what happens after he climbs up and rescues her?

Vivian: She rescues him right back.

Uploaded on Sep 30, 2006 by marietto82
YouTube: Pretty Woman

Jezebel – Feb 10/2015
A Brief Chat With a Woman Who Made Yogurt From Her Vaginal Secretions by MarkShrayber
Have you guys heard the one about the woman who made yogurt from her own vagina? No? Well then let me tell you a story that begins with the word "flora" and ends with the internet collectively losing its shit because a woman did something with her vagina and talked about it.


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