Esther Perel: How to Overcome Male Performance Anxiety

Published on July 9, 2017 by Esther Perel
YouTube: How to Overcome Male Performance Anxiety - Esther Perel (5:53)
“When I’m not interested in sex, it makes me feel like I’m not a man. In fact, my wife wants it more than me so I came up with the excuse of chronic back pain. I think it’s easier for her to accept. What’s wrong with me?” - David, Clifton, New Jersey

Men are under pressure in life, and in the bedroom, to be untiring, masterful and dominant. It’s assumed men are always up for sex and women’s interest is much less, and subjective.

It’s time we stop this oversimplification of men and start debunking some of our most dear assumptions about men.

References

Wikipedia: Esther Perel
Esther Perel (born 1958) is a Belgian psychotherapist notable for exploring the tension between the need for security (love, belonging and closeness) and the need for freedom (erotic desire, adventure and distance) in human relationships.

official web site: Esther Perel

my blog: Esther Perel: Rethinking infidelity ... a talk for anyone who has ever loved - Aug 4/2015

my blog: Esther Perel: Is this woman on to something? - Mar 12/2013

2021-06-26

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Pain: Men vs Women

From the Facebook feed of one Stephen Kroeger:

I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so, I sat down and had a cold beer.

The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.

My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, "Nothing."

The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?"

At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.

Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?

Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?

Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question.

Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion:

A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."

But you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."

I rest my case.

Time for another beer.  Then maybe a nap.


2021-06-12

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