Monday 13 June 2011

Weinerlogues: A reading by Bill Maher and Jane Lynch

This whole thing is a train wreck. Just when I think it can't get any worse, it does. I look at the screen of my computer, then I lean forward over my desk, bow my head and slap my hand on my forehead while uttering under my breath, "Oh... my... gawd!"

RadarOnline, like TMZ, is an online publication focusing on celebrity news, or one may say, celebrity gossip. Its previous claim to fame came in July 2010 when the site released a series of transcripts of recorded phone conversations allegedly between Mel Gibson and his girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva.

On June 1, 2011, RadarOnline released a PDF file purported to contain transcripts of Facebook exchanges between Congressman Anthony Weiner and a blackjack dealer in Las Vegas, 40 year old Lisa Weiss. The conversations start on August 13, 2010 and go up to June 1, 2011. Note: All profanities are marked with asterisks.

On Friday, June 10, 2011, on the show Real Time with Bill Maher, Mr. Maher invited actress Jane Lynch, currently starring in the TV show Glee, to join him on stage for a reading of the "Weinerlogues". Bill played Anthony Weiner and Jane took the part of Lisa Weiss. The three minute video clip from the show has them reading lines verbatim from these Facebook dialogues. In comparing the transcripts from RadarOnline to what Bill Maher and Jane Lynch read out loud, I conclude that their "script" came from a longer text exchange dated March 16, 2011. The following text is only part of that exchange and the ellipses (three periods) represent lines which were dropped for the reading. Everything else is as is and I warn you, Maher and Lynch do say the dirty words out loud. This is NSFW (Not Safe For Work).


Lisa: are you as passionate in the sack as u are about politics? ...

Anthony: baby you'd be crawling for the door to prevent me from f***ing you silly

Lisa: nice, just what I'm looking for. I want to bang the future mayor of nyc!

Anthony: making me h**d

Lisa: I love that you are always h**d when I talk to you

Anthony: I'm horny a lot. sorry


Lisa: I am so attracted to you I would probably c** in like 5 minutes

Anthony: when am I gonna get some lisa pics to j**k off too?


Lisa: you know I got no camera. ..touch your giant c*** for me

Anthony: It needs your p**** juice

Lisa: I have lots of it for you

Anthony: off to the shower this thing is bobbing up and down

Lisa: aahh…wish I was in the shower with you to help

Anthony: you give good h**d?

Lisa: i've been told really good...I love doing it

Anthony: wow a jewish girl who sucks c***! this thing is ready to do damage


Lisa: I talk like a filthy wh**e in bed…even though i am such a nice wholesome jewish girl (haha). i love when a guy j**ks off on the phone for me...that is so hot..I at least need to hear your voice when u c**

Anthony: you will surely make noise when I take you deep. i will tell you how tight your p**** feels

Lisa: yes I will...and it is very tight..i hope I can handle that big c*** of yours..I will be sore for days

Anthony: ridiculous bulge in my shorts now. wanna see?

Lisa: yea. can u send a pic? I want to sit on your c*** so bad right now

Anthony: jeez. i'm rushing. let me take a quick pic

Lisa: awesome…how do I get it? right on here?


Anthony: it won't go away, and now I'm taking pics of it, making me ha**er still."

Lisa: so hot! u are making me w*t again

Anthony: jeez I have to go. i'll hit you later


Lisa: get ur ass 2 work and save my country from these c*** sucking repubs!

[lots of wild applause from the audience]

Anthony: I like it when you talk about c*** sucking

We're all laughing. I am confident that the line "get your ass to work and save my country from these c**ksucking repubs" will become a classic. As I said in the beginning, it's a train wreck that just keeps getting worse. However, it occurred to me that there is a warning in this for each and every one of us. Of course, your first reaction would probably be that there is no way you'd do anything like that. Think about it. What have you said or done that could potentially embarrass you? Now think about the word embarrass in terms of Bill Maher and Jane Lynch reading word for word what you've said on television then having the clip posted on every web site from here to Timbuktu.

Beyond the extreme examples of Anthony Weiner, Arnold Schwarzenegger, or Tiger Woods, there lies an area of behaviour labelled faux pas, peccadillo, or a forgivable lapse of judgement. Of course, if you put something up on the Internet, no matter what you say or do, there is somebody on this planet who is going to disagree with you if not think of you in the most negative of terms. (see Your an idiot) If you're publishing on the Net, you have to have thick skin.

Heather Armstrong of the web site Dooce was fired from her previous job for writing satirical postings about her place of employment and her colleagues. In fact, amusingly enough, Urban Dictionary now defines the word "dooced" as getting fired because of something that you wrote in your weblog.

Pamela Madsen is the author of the book Shameless in which she writes about her personal journey of sexual self-discovery. Before the book, she wrote about her experiences in an anonymous blog which when outed resulted in her being let go from her job. Management was worried about having to face a "sex scandal".

Why did Anthony Weiner, Heather Armstrong, and Pamela Madsen get in trouble? Thousands of people are sexting; thousands are writing satirical pieces about people, and thousands more are writing quite explicitly about sex. The answer is not simple; it has many levels.

In my blog posting "My 15 Minutes", I talk about Andy Warhol's celebrated quote about how all of us will be famous for 15 minutes adding that I hope when my turn comes; it will be for something of which I can be proud as opposed to something of which I will be ashamed. In thinking about how a video can go viral on YouTube, I said I had my fingers crossed that my moment will not consist of somebody with a camera opening the bathroom door and catching me with my pants down.

Sooner or later each and every one of us is going to be held accountable for what we've said or done. In this day and age with Google's mission being to organize the world‘s information and make it universally accessible and useful, nothing is secret anymore. If you can be fired for it, if it's grounds for divorce, if it can be misinterpreted in any way and end up on the front page of an online newspaper in a 24 point headline, it's inevitable that you'll be discovered by somebody somewhere. If you must say it, your psychiatrist and lawyer are bound by law to remain quiet and your priest is bound by an oath to God. Other than that, anybody else can out you.

Yes, what Weiner did was wrong; oh so, so wrong. But I cringed. I cringed all the way through the video clip thinking what if Bill Maher and Jane Lynch were reading something I said. What if Bill showed that picture of me with my pants down? How about when I forget there's a security camera in the hallway and now there's Bill showing the footage of me picking my nose. Lesser crimes, of course, but in the eyes of somebody still crimes or at least, the object of ridicule. Heather and Pamela got canned.

Getting outed
The other aspect of any of this comes down to just one word, "outed" which inherently signifies a secret. If you have no secret, you can't be outed. If Weiner was not a congressman and he wasn't married, nobody would care. We might think of him as being uncouth, but we wouldn't care. What if he was sexting his wife? Would we stand in judgement of such dialogue? Maybe, but it would be with his wife and it's none of our business. Yes, we could still ridicule him and Bill Maher and Jane Lynch could still read the dialogue aloud, but he wouldn't be outed like he has been.

Heather Armstrong has turned her web site Dooce into a commercial web site and it is now her business. She can write a satirical piece about anybody; she can no longer be fired. Pamela Madsen has turned her Book Shameless into a business and likewise, she can no longer be outed; everything is now out in the open.

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
- Mark Twain

Final Word
Anonymity is a wonderful thing. You can say anything; you can do anything; you can let it all hang out both figuratively and literally. It's the full Monty. But just how anonymous is life? How about those people who become famous then the press does a background story and discover they've sold drugs, done jail time, and had sex with animals. - You think I'm kidding? See The Face of Anti-Abortionists: Neal Horsley

As I watched the video of Bill Maher and Jane Lynch, I said to myself that I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if I picked up a newspaper tomorrow or the next day and read Mr. Weiner had committed suicide. This is so far out of control now, there is going to be no redemption. How he is going to rationalize this if only to be able to live with himself is beyond me, but then again, I shouldn't be surprised as we humans are capable of rationalizing just about anything.

Bill Clinton went through one of the most public of spectacles that can only be qualified as embarrassing, humiliating, mortifying, shameful, degrading, crushing, ad infinitum. When you hear the name Clinton, how can you not want to yell, "Mo-ni-ca!" and do a fist pump? And yet, today he seems to have a rehabilitated public image. Hillary is even still with him although probably for obvious reasons. - Yes, Madam President. - I too will have to live with the results of my transgressions and can only hope that over time, those around me will find it in their hearts to forgive my oh so erring ways. I apologise profusely for my moment of weakness, but last week, not to be outdone by Mr. Anthony Weiner, I posted on the Internet a picture of my "junk". You can see it here.


From the future! July 30/2013
my blog: Anthony Weiner Redux: Outed to the World
Let me take a moment to clarify spellings. "Weiner" with "e-i" is the name of Anthony while "wiener" with "i-e" is the name of the frankfurter. The correct spelling of the joke is Weiner's wiener.

Wikipedia: RadarOnline
RadarOnline is an American online publication. It started as a magazine first printed in 2003 as a test issue, relaunched twice in 2005 and 2006, and ceased publication in 2008. ... was relaunched in March 2009 with a re-branding, focusing on celebrity gossip, fashion and pop culture.

Notable Coverage
The site was brought into the spotlight in July 2010 with the release of a series of recorded phone conversations allegedly between Mel Gibson and his girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva.

official web site: RadarOnline

RadarOnline - Jun 1/2011
Transcripts from Facebook conversations between Rep. Anthony Weiner and Las Vegas Blackjack Dealer Lisa Weiss

RadarOnline - Jun 6/2011
Weiner Sexting Partner Reveals Her Identity, Says: ‘He Called Me On Congress Phone!’
The woman who carried on a nine-month sexting relationship with Rep. Anthony Weiner is a 40-year-old Las Vegas blackjack dealer named Lisa Weiss. Following a bombshell joint investigation by and Star magazine, Weiss agreed to come forward and be the first woman named of the six who the congressman admitted to sending lewd messages and photos.

Wikipedia: Anthony Weiner: Sexting scandal
On May 27, 2011, Weiner sent a link via Twitter to a photograph on yfrog showing his erect penis concealed by briefs to a 21-year-old woman in Bellingham, Washington, who was "following" him on the social media website. He initially said he had not posted the image, and that his account had been "hacked."

On June 6, 2011, conservative blogger Andrew Breitbart posted a cropped shirtless picture Weiner had sent to another woman on his blog, and indicated that there were more. That afternoon, Weiner held a press conference at which he apologized, saying "I have not been honest with myself, my family, my constituents, my friends and supporters, and the media" and that, "[t]o be clear, the pictures were of me, and I sent them." He further said that he had been involved in "six inappropriate relationships over the past three years" using Twitter and other media. Answering questions, he said that he had his wife's continuing support, and that he did not intend to resign his congressional seat. After Weiner's press conference, House Minority Leader Pelosi announced that she had requested an investigation by the House Ethics Committee to determine "whether any official resources were used or any other violation of House rules occurred". On June 8, 2011, Weiner's spokeswoman commented, concerning an explicit nude picture of erect genitalia leaked through the The Opie & Anthony Show: "As Representative Weiner said on Monday when he took responsibility for his actions, he has sent explicit photos". On June 9, a NY1-Marist Poll showed that 56% of registered voters in Weiner's Congressional District wanted him to stay in Congress, and 33% thought he should resign, with 12% uncertain. Another survey of New York City adults conducted by WABC-TV and SurveyUSA finds the city largely divided, with 46 percent who think Weiner should resign and 41 percent who think Weiner should stay in office. On June 11, 2011, following several Democrats in Congress calling for Weiner's resignation, Pelosi, DCCC Steve Israel, and DNC Chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz also called for his resignation.

Perez Hilton - Jun 12/2011
Bill Maher And Jane Lynch Do A Dramatic Reading Of Anthony Weiner's Dirty Facebook Messages!
Hoooooooooly shit! This is possibly the best thing we have EVER seen!


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