Wednesday 28 March 2012

Shawn Wines: Dating as in OMG

Ah, dating. We've all done it. We've all enjoyed it and sometimes we've all endured it. The highs and lows, the good and bad, the heavenly and yes, the proverbial date from hell. Wikipedia in its usual sort of scientific sounding, dispassionate, unbiased manner, succinctly put its encyclopedic finger on it with the following: Dating is a form of courtship consisting of social activities done by two persons with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse. While the term has several senses, it usually refers to the act of meeting and engaging in some mutually agreed upon social activity in public, together, as a couple.

So, we're all trying to assess one another's suitability for, well, the next step. And here next step could refer to anything from sexual dalliance to our kindred spirit life partner. Yes the most obvious which tickles our fancy and titillates our libidos is the standard romantic comedy scene of hopping in the sack but there is also the admitted possibility that we actually like the person (Holy cow!) and may want to spend nonsexual time with them. But how does that assessment process go? Are we open and honest from the get go or do we "play the game", holding back out of fear of how the other person is going to react?

Shawn Wines is an up and coming writer/director for whom 2011 was a record year. He made the short comedy High Maintenance in 2011 which went on to win two awards: 1. Columbia University Film Festival (2011): Outstanding Achievement in Comedy Award; 2. Student Academy Awards, USA (2011): Silver Medal

His résumé shows several short features over the years and his latest covers the idea of honesty in dating with spit take hilarity. And I mean spit take. Really. Spit take.

Dailymotion: Upstairs by Shawn Wines
writer/director: Shawn Wines / producer: Brooke Sebold / starring: Josette Barchilon & Adam Lustick
A couple at the end of their first date gets down to business.

Final Word
Ha ha ha. If it all was as easy as that. Open and honest. Complete transparency. All cards on the table. Wait! It isn't as easy as that? Why not? Ha ha ha. Don't tell me we're afraid to be open and honest? Don't tell me we're scared of how the other person is going to react? So what if I wet my bed until I was five, so what if I have a piece of spinach lodged between my two front teeth, so what if I'm for Obama and the Democrats, I still am a charming guy, right? Right!?! Sleep with me and I'll show you four inches of pure steel. I can do more than just spell Venus Butterfly.

Oh well, ya just gotta laugh. It certainly beats sobbing uncontrollably. :-)

Below you will find some references about Shawn Wines. But more importantly, there are references about dating. Wikipedia's article is informative but the newspaper article written by a British woman on dating in America. She gives an interesting perspective on modern day dating with references to "The Rules", a controversial self-help book about relationships.

IMDb: Shawn Wines
Editor, director, production manager
He won two awards for his short comedy High Maintenance (2011):
1. Columbia University Film Festival (2011): Outstanding Achievement in Comedy Award
2. Student Academy Awards, USA (2011): Silver Medal

IMDb: High Maintenance (2011)
Written and Directed by Shawn Wines
Plot Summary: Hank's just an ordinary guy trying to get his wife pregnant, when his mother-in-law shows up and threatens to ruin everything. His desperate attempts to get rid of her lead him down a darkening path filled with guns, drugs, kidnapping, hookers, and karaoke, until he's faced with a crisis so out of control, that his marriage, his life, and his embarrassingly-low sperm count hang in the balance.

Vimeo: film excerpt: High Maintenance

Wikipedia: Dating
Columnist Maureen Dowd quoted comedian Bill Maher on the subject of differing dating agendas between men and women: "Women get in relationships because they want somebody to talk to -- men want women to shut up."] Dowd quoted poet Dorothy Parker on the subject of romance:

By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, undying -
Lady, make a note of this:
One of you is lying.
—Dorothy Parker

The Guardian - Jan 24/2009
Should I follow any rules? by Kira Cochrane
No, ignore dating tactics and simply get out and meet people.

I didn't realise that there were specific rules for dating until I turned 20 and crossed the Atlantic to study in the small town of Davis, California.
In the US, I discovered, they took a different tack. Namely, dating.
I also learned of the third-date rule - the most central and widely recognised of all dating rules - which decrees that there should be no sex until the third date, however much you might actually desire sex before this point. As with many other dating rules, this is only really supposed to be observed by heterosexual women: it is fully accepted that men will try and have sex before the third date, and it is the female role to hold them back. Dating rules almost always cast the man as aggressor, and the woman as prey, which frankly makes me feel nauseous.

Wikipedia: The Rules
The Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right is a controversial self-help book by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, originally published in 1995. The book suggests rules that a woman should follow in order to attract and marry the man of her dreams; these rules include that a woman should be "hard to get". The underlying philosophy of The Rules is that women should not aggressively pursue men, but rather ought to get the men to pursue them. A woman who follows The Rules is called a Rules Girl.


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BigLittleWolf said...

Somehow, you give dating a certain "je ne sais quoi" in a global... and I mean global... fashion.

(I will now attempt to stop smirking.)

BigLittleWolf said...

By the way, in some circles (due to a particular movie I believe), it's now the "five date" rule...