Thursday 11 April 2013

Wedge Shoes: Ladies, we need to have a talk

Ladies, I love you dearly but in my humble opinion, you are not just committing a fashion faux pas here, you have crossed the line into ugliness. Wedge shoes are horrible. I feel so uncomfortable looking at a wedge, it's like I have a wedgie. Yes, yes, you ladies get together and talk about how great they are. I can find comment after comment on the Net extolling the virtues of this accoutrement for the feet so how could I fly in the face of such praise? But, this is me writing my opinion as a man who is not just looking but admiring your feminine pulchritude. I am merely looking out for your best interests in trying to maximise the stratospheric heights of your fashion statement.

What, pray tell, rubs me the wrong way? Wedges are clunky. They are not stylish. They are not classy. They are not - dare I say it? - feminine. A heel, any heel, not just some six inch stiletto, demonstrates a certain symmetry to the architecture of the shoe. By filling in the gap and making a solid continuous bottom, you have created this block-like structure at the end of your foot devoid of any aesthetics. It's clunky. Yes, it's clunky plain and simple. And along with clunky, I would add cheap. Yes, they look cheap as if you couldn't afford to buy a good shoe.

They give me height
If I taped two bricks to your feet, you would have height but I'm sure you can see you wouldn't have style.

They're comfortable
I agree, let's be comfortable. But I have seen many flats with heels of a half inch which look quite stylish.

I want height and style
Nobody said height has to equate to six inches. And nobody said that heel has to be as narrow as a stiletto. There are any number of heeled shoes where the heel is substantial. And here substantial means not doing a balancing act on a pencil-thin stiletto but still being a separate structure which merits being called a "heel".

Do you think you look great with your height? Yes you're taller but you are also clunkier. You have, in some cases, unsightly monstrosities attached to your feet.

Do you feel comfortable? They are plenty of comfortable and yet still stylish alternatives. You want height and style? You want to have it all. I know you want have it all. And I know you can have it all because I have seen them. Just NOT wedges!!!

Height and Lordosis
In my blog "What's up with high heels?", I delved into the attraction we seem to have with high heels and discovered "lordosis", the ventral arching of the back that is the curve of the back is inwards towards the stomach.

All of this apparently connects back to high heels for two reasons. First of all, the heel changes a woman's posture so that her derriere is raised and her chest is pushed out resulting in a certain curve of the spine. There's the connection to lordosis behavior. Secondly, it would seem we all have some innate sense of the proper length of the human leg for the purposes of mating and high heels apparently extend the female leg to what is considered a more favorable length.

True? False? That's what the scientists say and somehow a guy in a white lab coat brings a certain credibility to the proceedings, no?

But even if both guys and gals appreciate the height of a heel, I would lobby for gaining height in a classy manner. Please, no clunkiness.

Final Word
I'm sure I'm going to get killed on this. I have certainly read enough comments written by women saying these shoes are great. They are great? Or they feel great? Whatever the case, they don't look great. I wince every time I see a woman wearing them. Ugh.

I hope you'll see that I have your best interests in mind. As a man I'm not asking you to walk around in stiletto heels to satisfy some sexual quirk I have. (Or any man for that matter?) I appreciate it when you gussy up and roll out the seductive arsenal but I also appreciate it when you're off duty and au naturel. I am only asking here to reconsider wedges. You may think you've found the best of both worlds, height and comfort, but I'm telling you that you've also traded style for unsightly clunkiness. There is no reason why anybody can't be off duty and au naturel and still be classy. In return, I promise not to show up dressed in a Spiderman t-shirt and a pair of torn camouflage long shorts.


Wikipedia: Wedge (footwear)
Wedge boots, wedgies or lifties are shoes and boots with a sole in the form of a wedge so that one piece of material, normally rubber, serves as both the sole and the heel. The design dates back to ancient Greece. Wedge boots are more common for women and often have a sole that is much thicker at the back than the front, making it a high-heel shoe or boot. Wedges for women were popularized by Salvatore Ferragamo who introduced the design to the Italian market in the late 1930s.

Google search: wedge shoes look terrible

Google search: wedge shoes are ugly

my blog: What's up with high heels?
For a number of years I have theorized that if I took two pictures of the same woman except in one photo the woman was wearing flats and in the other the woman was wearing high heels, guys would invariably prefer the photo with the high heels. It seems a given. It seems like an a priori truth. Of course I'm a guy so my opinion may be a tad affected by my hormones.

Walk a Mile in Her Shoes
Frank Baird created Walk a Mile in Her Shoes® in 2001. What started out as a small group of men daring to totter around a park has grown to become a world-wide movement with tens of thousands of men raising millions of dollars for local rape crisis centers, domestic violence shelters and other sexualized violence education, prevention and remediation programs.

Huffington - Sep 27/2012
Walk A Mile In Her Shoes Toronto: 4th Annual March To End Violence Against Women By Arti Patel
On Sept. 27, at least 1,000 men took part in the annual "Walk A Mile In Her Shoes" march, bringing awareness to ending violence against women and girls.


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1 comment:

D. A. Wolf said...

Mr. Belle, Lest I tiptoe into contentious waters, may I say that in general, I agree with much of what you say?

Those red wedges are Hideous. Yes, with a capital H. The wedges with the stripes? They would be very cute with shorts (I think), but better still with long pants so you get a glimpse of the kicky-flirty stripes and not the heavy-horrendous effects of the wedge itself.

As for Monster Shoes, I've ruminated and ranted on the subject previously. And options in heels, from the Ann-Margret kitten heel sort to the spiky stiletto?

I say No Nosebleeds Please, but a lovely heel of any height or even a cute flat (as you say) - preferably with toe cleavage - offers far more fetching alternatives than the (however comfy) wedge.