"Ah yes, divorce…from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
"The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money."
"The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers."
"I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house."
-Zsa Zsa Gabor
"To get over my divorce, I got a prescription to live at the Playboy mansion for a while."
"I'd marry again if I found a man who had $15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage and guarantee he'd be dead in a year."
"She cried -and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook."
"I can't get divorced because I'm a Catholic. Catholics don't get divorced. They stay together through anger and hatred and festering misery, just like God intended."
"I look a divorce this way: it's better to have loved and lost, then to live with that bitch for the rest of my life."
"Marriage isn't all that it's cracked up to be. Let me tell you, honestly. Marriage is probably the chief cause of divorce."
"Divorce sucks. Let me tell you, after five years of marriage, it is devastating to have the person with the good credit move out."
"Workaholicism is such a tough addiction to get over. I had to divorce my wife because she was an enabler."
"What happened? Satan was busy?"
-Sam Kinison on finding out his wife had hired lawyer Marvin Mitchelson to represent her in her divorce case against him.
"I can't take his genius any more."
-Rita Hayworth on why she divorced Orson Welles
Some other bits of amusement:
my blog: Funny quotes about marriage (and divorce)
my blog: The Geography of a Woman
my blog: Relationships: Will we ever get it right?
my blog: Divorce: Why I'm Better Off Dead
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