Monday 15 August 2011

The Psycho Ex Wife: ex bashing taken to the next level

Update 2012-07-26: The links in this article were live at the time of the writing. Some of these links have now been taken off-line.

Hate your ex? Ever have evil thoughts of retribution, hell and damnation? Envisaged fire and brimstone raining down upon their heads? One man has taken his misdirected feelings of ill will and channelled them into an online literary opus of such obsessive focus it would raise the most curious of questions as to why he ever married his ex-wife in the first place. Newton's third law of motion states "To every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction". If you consider his current hate as the reaction, would you be right in assuming that at one point the "action" was an equal love, just as intense?

The players in this sad story of marriage gone awry are Anthony and Allison Morelli. After an eight marriage characterized as stormy, they divorced in 2005. However Mr. Morelli decided to use the Internet to voice his side of the story and created a blog entitled "The Psycho Ex Wife" in December 2007 with the tagline, "The Psycho Ex Wife is the story about a marriage, divorce, and subsequent custody fight between a loving man, his terroristic ex-wife who is strongly suspected of suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder (at least from our armchair psychologist diagnosis), and the husband’s new partner." He then set out to describe in detail all things relating to his ex-wife, the joint custody of their two children and anything else he felt necessary to vent.

On the page "Cast of Characters", Mr. Morelli describes his ex-wife (he uses the acronym PEW, Psycho Ex Wife throughout the blog):

She’s on the precipice of 40 and probably looks all 50-years of it. Imagine if you will, Jabba The Hut, with less personality. She spends her time with her bipolar sister (PP, see below) drinking her days away bemoaning her victim status, when she isn’t stuffing the children with fast food, buying them toys, or pushing them towards the TV or computer.

He describes himself (he's 42 as of this writing):

He’s on the brink of 40 and believes he looks in his 20s. He’s not conceited, he just doesn’t live by the “you’re only as old as you feel” – he tosses in “…and pretend you look however old you feel, too!” He’s handsome, but I’m biased. Before PEW divorced him, PP told her she would never find someone as great. Damn, she was right for once.

After the introduction of the entire cast including PEW's codependent mother, PEW's alcoholic father, PEW's bipolar sister and their kids, this page has a list of 88 comments (as of this writing) from various readers who have discovered the blog. Is it surprising? The comments are very positive about the web site and many describe their own situation as being similar to the author's. It's important to note that some of the commentators are women, apparently the new partner of the ex-husband, and who are describing their partner's own ex-wife. There seems to be certain camaraderie between these people as they are sharing a similar (negative) experience.

According to a Time Magazine article, Morelli doesn't hold back on denigrating his ex, calling her a "f---ing psycho" and a "black-out drunk." A Google search turns up two pages on the site where Morelli has written "she's a f**king psycho". Another Google search returns three pages containing "black-out drunk".

From 2007 onwards, it seems the existence of this blog remained unknown to his wife and their two children who are now 10 and 12. However in August 2009, Allison discovered the site. (Yahoo Shine Aug 9/2011) In a posting dated August 2, 2010 entitled "Notable Crazy Email #52,010", Anthony writes:

One of the many things that PEW has taken to doing since the discovery of has been to stalk and read the site and the forums incessantly. She does this from home, her sister’s place, her parents' house, and yes – even her workplace. This has resulted in a barrage of crazy emails.

During a hearing held on June 14, 2011, Family Court Judge Diane Gibbons ordered Anthony Morelli to close down his web site and banned him from mentioning the three in public. "This is about children," she said."You may say anything that you would like to say. You may publish it. You may put it on a billboard. But you will not have your children, because that is abusive." (San Francisco Chronicle)

Anthony Morelli is in violation of the judge's order
As a curiosity, if you type in the URL, you will get an all white page with only the text:
1st Amendment 101
Wondering where the site went?
Find out what happened and how you can help SAVE HERE

However, the entire site is still online; it is only that initial page which is missing. Click here for the About page and here for the Cast of Main Characters. In fact you can find all of the pages by doing searches through Google. In other words, it would seem that Mr. Morelli has not taken his web site down and is definitely in violation of the court order. All he has done is to replace the initial default page with the above message and the link to his new site where he solicits donations for his legal costs.

MSNBC: Matt Lauer and his story on The Psycho Ex Wife
A video dated August 9, 2011, shows a segment from the Today show where first reporter Amy Robach tells the story of Anthony Morelli and his blog then Matt Lauer interviews Starr Jones, a former prosecutor, and Dr. Gail Saltz, a psychiatrist, for their take on what's happening. Curiously enough, there seems to be a legal angle to the case where Morelli may have an argument for free speech. However, his wife would have to bring a civil suit against him to prove his actions were defamatory. Nevertheless, as a parent, as an ex-spouse, as a human being, everyone seems to be in agreement that Anthony Morelli's actions are confrontational and not good for his children. Anthony is not a nice man.

Why did that @#$%^* bastard divorce me?
In this blog posting I talked about some of the vitriolic writing I had run across penned by women about their ex-husbands.

Because he's a lying, two-faced sonofabitch. He can't keep it in his pants. He's a sex addict. He's a goddamn perverted deviant jackin' off to Internet porn. He's an ungrateful, unfaithful, untrustworthy, underhanded un-man with a tiny d**k. He's a selfish @#$%^* whore-chasing douchebag that deserves to be chemically castrated then banished to some far-flung South Sea island where he'll be forced to work on a chain gang for the rest of his rotten miserable life.

I went on to ask some questions about what really went on behind the scenes which led up to the divorce.

I can't help thinking that there is more to this story than he's a @#$%^* douchebag. ... I'm certain that there are some truly bad people out there. Adolf Hitler was a bad man. John Wayne Gacy, the American serial killer who raped and murdered 33 teenage boys, was a bad man. I just find it hard to believe that every single @#$%^* bastard one day decides to leave his wife and children, ruin his reputation, besmirch his good name, alienate his kids and turn himself into a "bad man" just because he's a douchebag. He actually wants to be bad man as opposed to being loved and admired? Really?

Anthony Morelli has suggested that his ex-wife, Allison Morelli is an alcoholic. In one posting, Allison writes about taking her children to an A.A. meeting. There is more to this story than simply Allison being psychotic. Anthony Morelli has written any number of postings which pour scorn on his ex-wife. He has vilified her, humiliated her, and besmirched her reputation from here to eternity. Just what does he possibly hope to achieve by all this? If there is an objective to have everyone happy, successful and at peace with themselves and the rest of the world, if there is an objective to have the two children involved successfully co-parented by Anthony and Allison, would anybody feel than Mr. Morelli has tackled the issue in a manner that would achieve any of these goals?

Final Word
In my blog Tricia Walsh: Let's divorce on YouTube! I tell the story on a disgruntled woman who posts videos denigrating her husband in what the judge called a blatant attempt to get the upper hand in the settlement negotiations to try and quash the pre-nuptial agreement. It didn't work. Tricia Walsh is an extreme case just as Anthony Morelli is an extreme case. Nevertheless I have seen numerous shades of gray in various blogs written by those who are going through a divorce, who are trying to find their way after the divorce or who are locked in a custody battle. Is everyone taking the high road or does a little of Tricia Walsh and Anthony Morelli slip in periodically when somebody decides to vent in print? A divorce lawyer, who is divorced himself, told me the other day that in his opinion only 10% of divorces turn into major confrontations. That is, the majority of divorces are settled reasonably with both parties being civil to one another. As a glimmer of hope to everyone, he went on to describe how he and his ex-wife had a nice trip to New York together to visit their daughter adding that now, he and his wife are friends. I couldn't help thinking of Molly Monet of Postcards from a Peaceful Divorce and how she has gone through a divorce, come out the other side and has now become friends with her ex-husband to the point where the two of them together can successfully co-parent their children. I know that it is important for me to be vigilant about my own feelings. I can be hurt and I can wallow in the pain. I can find fault in others and I can get stuck blaming them for my problems. Nobody is perfect; God knows I'm not. Yes, it's not easy, but the sooner I can accept, the sooner I can move on. Anthony Morelli started his blog in December 2007 and he's still at it coming up to four years. That's a long time to be writing about the psycho ex wife. Instead of making peace, instead of finding a solution, instead of moving on, he is continuing to wallow in his rut of destructive and self-destructive hate. Anthony Morelli is not a nice man. I don't want to be anything like him.

The Psycho Ex Wife: About

The Psycho Ex Wife: Cast of Main Characters

About: We started to share our story because we know how stressful it is to deal with a high conflict ex that uses the court system to harass you. We’ve been dealing with it for 7 years now and there is no end in sight.

Time - Aug 11/2011 'Psycho Ex-Wife' Blog Starts Free-Speech Fight in Court by Vanessa Ko
A man is trying to fight a judge's order to remove a blog that he used to talk trash about his former spouse for the past four years, citing his right to free speech.

The Daily Mail - Aug 10/2011 Judge orders husband to take down blog about his 'terroristic psycho ex-wife'

Video: MSNBC - Aug 9/2011 Divorce debacle: Bitter blog ordered taken down
[N.B. If you move your mouse over the bottom of the video, you get a popup menu which allows you to turn on sibtitles or a transcript.] Former prosecutor and legal commentator Star Jones and psychiatrist Dr. Gail Saltz talk about the battle over the controversial website “” NBC’s Amy Robach reports. [Amy Robach gives a report about this story but it is Matt Lauer interview with Starr Jones, former prosecutor and Dr. Gail Saltz, psychiatrist which is the most interesting part of the video. Legally, Anthony Morelli has the right to write his blog. However from the point of view of being a good parent and a good ex-spouse, he is not right.]

Video: Fox News - Aug 10/2011 Blogger Fights Court to Keep 'Psycho Ex-Wife' Site
[Anthony Morelli is a cyberbully?] Huffington Post - Aug 9/2011 The Psycho Ex-Wife: Free Speech Fight Over Divorce Blog by Anna Bahr

NY Daily News - Aug 9/2011 Judge orders 'Psycho Ex Wife' website creator Anthony Morelli to take down blog; Morelli fires back by Joyce Chen

San Francisco Chronicle - Aug 10/2011
Dad fights shutdown of 'Psycho Ex Wife' blog by Amy Graff

my blog Tricia Walsh: Let's divorce on YouTube!
Philip apparently filed for divorce in October 2007, but Tricia was only served with papers in March 2008. On April 10, 2008, Tricia posted a video on YouTube shot in their apartment during which she "tells all" about her husband including the prenup, being evicted from "her home", the absence of sex in their relationship, and her finding a stash of Viagra, pornography and condoms. During the video, she phones her husband's office and asks her husband's secretary what she should do with the stash.

my blog: Why did that @#$%^* bastard divorce me?
Because he's a lying, two-faced sonofabitch. He can't keep it in his pants. He's a sex addict. He's a goddamn perverted deviant jackin' off to Internet porn. He's an ungrateful, unfaithful, untrustworthy, underhanded un-man with a tiny d**k. He's a selfish @#$%^* whore-chasing douchebag that deserves to be chemically castrated then banished to some far-flung South Sea island where he'll be forced to work on a chain gang for the rest of his rotten miserable life.


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Anonymous said...

Great piece. I find the PEW story really disturbing.

Anonymous said...

It's going to be a sad day for women when negatively commenting on your X on-line becomes grounds for losing your children as Judge Gibbons is threatening in this case. Take a look at iVillage - thousands of women doing it all day, every day.

For some reason if men do it they are being "abusive," and if women do it they are "seeking support."

Anonymous said...

If your ex harassed you via court rooms, phone calls and emails not once but for YEARS. If they tried to remove your children from you, ruin your job, bankrupt you, and ruin any relationship you could ever have. If they emotionally abused and alienated your children, not for a week or a month but for YEARS... what would you do? This man tried everything and in frustration vented anonymously on the internet - People do this every day and many with far less cause. Many of them do not even try to do this anonymously. Since when is a blogger more dangerous to a child then an active alcoholic? He is being falsely accused of dragging the children into something. If a child uses google at a friend’s house they are not searching "psycho ex-wife" or "divorce". This man did not use his name, her name, or the children's names. He did not use the names of schools or cities. The odds of a child finding the site are extremely unlikely. The site was found because she was searching. She recognized her own psychotic behavior and deducted it had to be about her. This mother showed the website to the children. What kind of parent does that? Not a word has been said about her appearing on television WITH the children. This whole media circus only further gives evidence to how very manipulative a person can be. She has literally snowed you all. The media nd many commenters have painted him the "Bad Guy" and her the "Poor single mother" and like the judge have not even given him a chance to speak. Since when in America are we guilty until proven innocent. How many children have been hurt died because of mentally ill mothers winning custody? How many more will suffer the same because of misplace sympathy and political agendas? I do not know this man but I have read the blog. I am a divorced woman, and nothing I could imagine would vindicate the way this woman treated her ex-husband. Women who do this and abuse the courts setting out to destroy a man are a disappointment to our sex. I love the comments about how he should just move on. People fail to realize that is all he ever wanted to do but has been under siege from this woman for years!

Anonymous said...

This topic interests me a great deal because I could see myself being in the same situation as Mr. Morelli had my wife not agreed to get help for her manic depression (bipolar) disorder.

One of the things I keep noticing is that many people have pre-formed opinions about Mr. Morelli without ever really understanding the facts. With that said, I would like to clarify a couple of things -- things that should be obvious to any objective individual who bothered to do a minimal amount of research.

1. The site is owned and co-written by Mr. Morelli's current girlfriend. The descriptions of each that you posted above were written by the new girlfriend. Re-read it with that in mind and it will make much more sense -- especially the description of him. The way you presented it -- as if he wrote that about himself -- makes him look conceited and egotistical.

2. Mr. Morelli NEVER mentioned anybody by name. This was never done for attention nor was it done to publically denigrate his ex-wife (ou can't give attention to, or denigrate someone who is anonymous). It was obviously done as a COMPLETELY ANONYMOUS means of venting frustrations and building a support group.

3. Mr. Morelli was able to keep the site, and its subjects, completely anonymous for three years. His ex-wife (who discovered the site by random internet search) is the one who made it public, announced her own name to the world, and informed her children about it.

4. The fact that the ex-wife recognized herself in the completely anonymous accounts indicates that Mr. Morelli's description of the circumstances is accurate. And if you've read any of his entries, his ex-wife is indeed a "f---ing psycho", even if only 25% of what he writes is accurate.

5. Assuming Mr. Morelli's accounts are reasonably accurate (a reasonable assumption since they were obviously accurate enough for the ex-wife to definitively declare "hey, that's about ME!"), then she's an obvious nutjob who can't be reasoned with. She is unreasonable, petty, spiteful and angry. She will file false reports and lie in court to get what she wants. *HER* behavior, and how it affects the children, should be in the spotlight here; not Mr. Morelli's "distateful" blog.

Anonymous said...

What you are refering to is temporary divorce craziness. To know what is really going on with anthony and allison I suggest you read. (High Conflict People in legal disputes by William Eddy ) Don't judge until you have done the research and know all the facts. You have allowed yourself to become a negative advocate.

Anonymous said...

It always amazes me when people who have no Idea what they are talking about , decide to give their opinion. You would think before doing an article like this, the writer would take the time to actually do there homework. It would be very nice if Anthony and Allison could get along for there childrens sake but with a disordered individual that is not always possible. Considering how the court has allowed this abuse to continue. This story needs to be told . This same scenario is being replayed over and over again in courtrooms throughout the U.S.

Anonymous said...

I'm calling you out Mr. Belle do your research. When you watch your children suffer and can do nothing to protect them because the courts wont let you. Where does that leave you. I have lived with this daily for years. Frustrated, yes . I want to be able to help change things so children and families wont have to suffer through this anymore. I'm not rich , I dont know what i can do to help , but I will find a way. The courts need to be educated .Maybe you don't agree with how he went about this, But he has helped people going through similar situations. He connects with them through his recounting of the abuse he and his family has had to suffer through and is still suffering at the hands of a very disturbed individual. Until this is recognized by the courts families will continue to suffer.

Anonymous said...

F.Y.I. Quicy.........I and my family have been dealing with my Narcissistic ex-wife for over 4 years now. I alone have been dealing with my Narcissistic ex-wife for over 12 years. I know exactally what her traits are, and of the "Average Narcissist". My question to you is... Do you ACTUALLY know what you are talking about?? My, along with many others opininions, No You Don't!! Have you actually had to deal with a Narcissist on a daily basis?? Are you talking from experience from "Outside Of the Box" or are you talking from "Inside Of The Box"?? What I'm trying to say is I, and my family think you are totally full of crap. You have no CLUE what you are talking about. Until you have dealt with a Narcissist on a daily basis, and have lived through the termoil they create, you should not have a blog because you are betraying other people into thinking you actually know what you are talking about. You are totally misleading the few readers you have.

Anonymous said...

I do love how other readers say he should just move on. In case anybody has missed it, he has moved on. Ml got remaried, has a new life. BUT that doesn't mean he doesn't love his children from that previous marriage. If you all would read and comprehend, he is trying to protect his kids! The real problem is, is that PEW is doing her best to rub LM's nose in any pile of crap she can find! Believe me. I deal with this same behavior on a daily basis! Until any of you have walked in LM's shoes, or my shoes for that matter, do some actual research before commenting. Especially the author of this blog site! It will at the very least make you look more knowadgable. Dumb@$$e$.

Anonymous said...

I fail to see how this can possibly be beneficial to the children. Especially if he thinks the ex-wife is a psycho, it seems particularly inflammatory. There are ways to deal with difficult (even pathological) exes. I know first-hand but it usually entails getting professional guidance and not engaging in public smear campaigns. That applies to males and females.

Anonymous said...

I am Canadian and am happy to create a new site for this type of blogging no American law can stop me. I am the new wife and I have found Anthony's site very helpful. As my husband and I have lived in 'hell' for the past 4 years because of his phycho ex wife and this is not just to 'vent' we have paperwork to back the crazy and insane actions of this phycho. Being a woman my opinion is that 'woman' are worst then men. They hit below the belt, they involve the kids, emotionally abuse the kids, will win at all costs, perfect playing the victim when the reality is they are the 'victor' in alot of cases. Woman are the worst type of stalkers they just don't get it to move on, I expect to receive flack from my opinion and not based just since in a relationship with my husband I have felt this way about women my whole life. It is these phycho's who give the small percentage of woman like myself a bad name. I have posted and read several of the comments on this site and am in disbelief at the level of evil woman are at!! I have found some of the information VERY helpful to deal with my husband's phycho ex wife and it has helped my husband persevere in the family court system. Here in Canada Father's do not get the justice deserved by those who simply want to be part of their children's lives so I feel for all those father's in the US who suffer unjust rulings in the family court system. Here in Canada my goal to assist as many father's possible who are unrepresented to achieve higher ground in the court system. I give my support to Anthony and hope that he wins to continue with his blog.

B Laughbaum said...

It is cathartic to find others like yourself. There are forums for *everything* on the internet including relationships, mental illness, abuse, you name it so why is this any different than someone expressing himself in a forum. I found this blog while looking for help with my partner's ex. My partner and I were both in long marriages, well over 20 years each, and did not take the break-ups lightly. We were not vindictive but his ex became so, dangerously so. Sometimes mental illness does not manifest until late in the relationship and his ex's began in the last 10 years of their relationship. Our lives have been made a living hell and the ex has been arrested countless times and has felony and misdemeanor charges against her. Domestic abuse, stalking, harassment, vandalism, you name it. The kids are much, much better off without the alcoholic, drug-abusing, physically and emotionally abusive woman. She is eaten up with mental illness that she refuses to address, dropping every program that would help her with her addictions. The PEW forum was a revelation and I was so grateful for the insight and relieved that we were not the only ones dealing with such a situation.

Anonymous said...

This may be 2 years late, but the Morelli boys are happy with their father currently and enjoying life more and more every day. What he wrote, was true. Believe me or don't. But take it from someone who, knows (:

Anonymous said...

In a previous article of yours (psycho ex wife bashing taken to a new level} you obviously failed to do your research . Try reading (High Conflict People in Legal Disputes by William Eddy) also check out the videos on Youtube by Dr. Sam Vaknin on narcissistic personality disorder. I've been researching this for a year. Trying to find a way to deal with my husbands ex who constantly uses her child as a weapon to hurt her ex husband. I have had to watch this child suffer while the courts do nothing about this . Our family has had to deal with her constant harassment , lies and abuse.We are not talking about a normal person here. Most normal people wouldn't believe the things these type of people do. We would like nothing better than to have some peace in our lives. It would be nice to be able to get along with his ex for the sake of there son. Sadly I don't think this will ever happen. You say you will admit it when you are wrong . Well I guess we will see.