Wednesday 26 March 2014

Men and Women Reacting to Magazine Sex Tips

Published on Feb 14, 2014 by BuzzFeedYellow
Guys React To Cosmo's Wildest Sex Tips
That will cause internal bleeding..."

Published on Feb 27, 2014 by BuzzFeedYellow
Women React To Men's Magazine Sex Tips
They want us to do WHAT with our WHAT?

BuzzFeed - Jun 11/2013
23 Truly Terrible Sex Tips by Luke Lewis
3. Use your teeth
"Very softly bite the skin of his scrotum." -Karen, 26
Karen at the age of 40 after having actually been with a few guys, "Do not use teeth." Lorena Bobbitt, indeed.

6. Attempt an intimate Chinese burn.
Make two fists around my shaft and twist them in opposite directions as fast as you can." -Jamie, 30
Dear Jamie, WTF, are you a masochist? Nobody is going to pull that s**t on my equipment twice. This is a delicate instrument of love, not a doughy pretzel stick. Geesh!

23. "Volleying a tennis ball."
"Hold his penis in one hand and lightly slap it with the other... you can tap it back and forth like you're voilleying a tennis ball and light pinch the skin on his shaft and testicles. Many women make the mistake of being too gentle."
Please don't do this. No, really. Don't do this.

Jezebel - Feb 6/2014
Break Your Man's Penis With Cosmo's Ridiculous Olympic Sex Tips by Erin Gloria Ryan
In honor of the upcoming Winter Games, this month's issue of Cosmopolitan tailored its monthly offering of sex tips around an Olympics theme. And, like the Olympics, only the world's most elite athletes should try them. Seriously. They're cock-snappingly harrowing.

I'm not going to mince words here: while far-fetched, this month's SEX OLYMPICS section in Cosmo is fucking awesome. It seems that, like Skynet, Cosmo has gradually become self-aware, and rather than shying away from its much-ridiculed penchant for silly sex tips, it's doubled — nay, tripled down and decided to own them, and that takes scrunchie-framed balls. I mean, positions called The Bawdy Bobsled? The Long Pole? Siberian Husky Style? And don't even get me started on the little sex diagrams that are wearing helmets and goggles and scarves and figure skating uniforms while engaged in coitus.

The Sex-Goddess Ski Jump
1. Take a flying leap.
2. Land on his penis.
3. Win a gold medal!
Have him push you up against a wall and grab you around the butt. Now leap up into his arms like you're soaring off a Sochi bluff, lock your legs around his waist, hold on to his shoulders for leverage, and get busy. Little-known Newton law of motion: up-against-a-wall sex is never not hot.

Seriously, who writes this stuff? Have they done any empirical studies by actually attempting to do what they suggest? Have they ever had sex? To the uninformed and inexperienced, this leads to a distorted impression of what is desirable and attainable. It is another contribution to the cacophony of misinformation disguised as supposed facts floating around our society. It's no wonder we are collectively a confused bunch of people.

On the other hand, if you are knowledgeable and experienced, articles like this are a hoot. "2. Land on his penis." Really? Your aim is that good? Talk about a hole in one!


Wikipedia: BuzzFeed
BuzzFeed is a website that combines a technology platform for detecting viral content with an editorial selection process to provide a snapshot of "the viral web in realtime". Co-founded in 2006 by Jonah Peretti (who is also cofounder of The Huffington Post), BuzzFeed is located in Manhattan, New York in the Flatiron District.

official web site: BuzzFeed

YouTube channel: BuzzFeedYellow

YouTube channel: BuzzFeedVideo

Despite my best efforts on Google, I couldn't find out the difference between BuzzFeedYellow and BuzzFeedVideo. Comedy versus serious? Original content versus other content? Beats me, but there they are. Enjoy.


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1 comment:

Unknown said...

Those are pretty funny. The Jamie one made me laugh. Mostly because, you know, I'm not a guy...